Why Roger Ebert Sits in the Back Row
"'I've noticed that the publicists have started to sit behind me," [Gene Siskel] explained. 'I think they're supposed to spy on my reactions and report back to the studios.' I doubted this was true, but now I became aware of Siskel sitting behind me, possibly to spy on my reactions. So I moved to the back row to outwit the son of a bitch. I picked the end of the row nearest the door, so I could sneak out to the men's room without calling undue attention to myself. Most people have bladders the size of oil drums, but I usually have to pee at least once during a movie. A few of my colleagues share this need, and I am sympathetic while watching them bend over and make a Groucho Marx run in front of the screen in the futile hope that no one will notice them." You relate, right? [Roger Ebert's Blog]
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Comments
Could this guy be more out of touch with reality? It's not 20 years ago, nobody cares Roger.
I totally relate. I'm always the only guy who gets up to piss during a given film. My method is to wait until there's a lot noise or commotion going on onscreen to disguise my exit. It's always bad when there's other people in your row that you have to shimmer over to get into the aisle. And then there's the tell-tale sound of the door opening and closing as you re-enter the theater. It's a whole deal.
Roger Ebert has forgotten more than you'll ever know. It's quite a nice blog post, but obviously you didn't read it, so ready are you to spit bile.
How about going just before the picture starts? You know, like Mom and Dad told you just before they took you on a long drive. Beyond that, if you really need to pee every two hours, I think your next stop should be to the doctor. Seriously.
I think Ebert should disqualify himself from being a film critic if he can't make it through one movie without a bathroom break. Who knows what kind of vital details he's missing that would impact his opinion? Perhaps this is why he gave The Life of David Gale ZERO STARS, and why he didn't understand the reason the Genesis Device could be used as a weapon.
I love the guy. All hail Roger Ebert!
(And this is from someone with a great bladder!)
(Which, really people, is not what it is about in the end, is it?)
In his own way, Ebert changed the industry. And he is still going, despite setbacks that might persuade those more vain to drop out of the playing field. I'm all for a dose of that kind of reality in Hollywood.
Plus, what a generous shout-out to his peers that piece was.