Weekend Receipts Special Edition: Muppets Co-Star Beaker Breaks Down the Holiday Box Office

As usual, America's taste for leftovers dominated the long Thanksgiving weekend -- but enough about Breaking Dawn - Part 1, which handily knocked off newcomer The Muppets for first place at the holiday box office. The specialty meals are what's really worth sampling, and to help break it all down, I'd like to welcome Muppets co-star and special guest box-office correspondent Beaker to provide his typically keen, clear-eyed insights. Your Weekend Receipts are here.

1. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

Gross: $42,000,000 ($221,300,000)

Screens: 4,066 (PSA $10,330)

Weeks: 2 (Change: -69.6%)

So, Beaker, the first half of the Twilight finale narrowly avoided having the franchise's steepest week-two drop, trailing New Moon's plunge by a mere half-percentage point. Are you surprised it didn't break 70 percent?

Meemee meemeemee. Meemee, meemeemeemeemee meemeemee.

But even with such an idle, expansive Thanksgiving weekend, viewers had a lot of movies to choose from. Shouldn't it have been more competitive?

Meemeemee, meemee. Meemeemeemee! Meememeemee meemee, meemeemee. Meemee?

That's a great question. Ultimately, though, I think Bill Condon can hold his head high. Higher than after he co-produced the Oscars, anyway.

Meemeemee. Meemee meemeemee, meemeemee -- meemeemee meemee.

2. The Muppets

Gross: $29,500,000 ($42,000,000)

Screens: 3,440 (PSA $8,576)

Weeks: 1

Let's face it, Beaker: $42 million for The Muppets in five days may seem slightly soft, but for a revived '70s property essentially remade for people in their 30s and 40s, that's not so bad.

Meemeemee. Meemee? Meemeemeemeemee. Meemee. Meemeemeemeemee, meemeemee -- meemeemee. Meemeemeemee, meemee.

So you're disappointed?

Meemeemeemee! Meemeemee.

Maybe you guys laid the viral marketing and spoof trailers on a little too thick. Perhaps The Muppets was just overexposed?

Meemeemee! Meemeemeemee, meemee meemee meemee -- meemee.

OK, fine. So maybe not "you guys," but Disney, rather.

Meemeemee.

Would you have done anything differently? Like perhaps play up the ensemble -- less Jason Segel and Amy Adams, more Kermit and Miss Piggy and--

Meemeemeemee. Meemee!

Of course -- and more Beaker.

Mee.

Do you'll think we'll get a sequel?

Meemeemeemee. Meemee, meemee, meemee. Meemeemeemee.

Maybe you can do an action film in the meantime -- kind of a Taylor Lautner/Abduction thing to try a bolster your leading-man cred.

Meemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemee!

Well, you know what I mean.

Meemeemee. Meemee!

3. Happy Feet Two

Gross: $13,400,000 ($43,773,000)

Screens: 3,606 (PSA $3,716)

Weeks: 2 (Change: -36.9%)

That's not a bad week-two drop at all, is it?

Meemeemee. Meemee, meemee meemeemeemee meemeemeemeemee?

I understand, but it's a holiday weekend. Even The Muppets is bound to have competition in the family market.

Meemeemeemee, meemeemee.

I think you mean, "Four-quandrant, shmour-quadrant."

Meemeemee. Meemeemeemee, meemeemee.

4. Arthur Christmas

Gross: $12,700,000 ($17,000,000)

Screens: 3,376 (PSA $3,762)

Weeks: 1

See, this is what I'm talking about: It could have been worse for The Muppets. At least you didn't bottom out like Arthur Christmas.

Meemeemee, meemee meemee meemeemeemee. Meemeemee! Meemee meemeemeemee meemee meemeemee.

I don't think James McAvoy, Hugh Laurie and Bill Nighy are quite what I'd call "B-list limey voice tarts."

Meemeemee. Meemee?

Well, at the very least because McAvoy is Scottish.

Meemeemee, meemee, meemeemeemee. Meemee! Meemeemeemee!

5. Hugo

Gross: $11,350,000 ($15,380,000)

Screens: 1,277 (PSA $8,888)

Weeks: 1

This is another one I couldn't peg going into the weekend. Loved the film, couldn't read the market. What do you think?

Meemeemee, meemee, meemeemeemee. Meemeemee. Meemee? Meemeemee!

The 3-D was a huge help, to be sure. And as I was alluding to a little bit ago, I think Paramount saw the writing on the wall in terms of family-film competition. Was 1,200 screens too conservative, too aggressive, or just right?

Meemeemee. Meemeemeemee, meemee. Meemee. Meemeemeemee, meemee, meemee. Meemee! Meemeemee -- meemeemee, meemee? Meemeemeemee, meemee.

So how wide should they expand from here? It really seems like it could go either way.

Meemee, meemeemee. Meemeemee meemeemeemeemee meemee.

Fantastic. That's why I love you, Beaker.

Meemeemee.

--

10. The Descendants

Gross: $7,200,000 ($10,741,000)

Screens: 433 (PSA $16,628)

Weeks: 2 (Change: +505%)

12. My Week With Marilyn

Gross: $1,773,000 ($2,085,000)

Screens: 244 (PSA $7,266)

Weeks: 1

23. The Artist

Gross: $210,000 (new)

Screens: 4 (PSA $52,500)

Weeks: 1

So The Weinsteins heaped Marilyn and The Artist into one weekend -- two Oscar hopefuls opposite Fox Searchlight's own awards-horse The Descendants. I honestly don't think that's an experiment even you would have tried, and you're always blowing things up.

Meemeemee, meemeemeemee. Meemeemeemee. Meemee.

Well, let's not get too far ahead of ourselves. The bottom line is that the best theatrical average of the week belongs to a silent, black-and-white film made by a French guy. Can you believe it?

Meemeemee. Meemee, meemeemeemee -- meemee!

Can we all agree that Marilyn opened too aggressively? Like, Michelle Williams wasn't even really around to promote it that much -- and it's her freaking movie.

Meemee! Meemeemee, meemeemeemee. Meemeemee.

How much do you think The Artist can make at the end of the day?

Meemeemee. Meemee? Meemee?

Wow. What about The Descendants?

Meemee. Meemee?

Seriously? It's rated R, it has only Clooney going for it name-wise...

Meemeemee, meemee meemee, meemeemee.

Yeah, but at least Black Swan had lesbians.

Meemee. Meemeemeemee.

I guess we shouldn't leave out A Dangerous Method at $182,000 on four screens -- a $45,500 per-screen average.

Meemeemee. Meemee.

Yeah, my thoughts exactly.

Meemee.

Thanks for joining me today, Beaker. And, er, oh my God you're on fire!

Meemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemeemee!

[Figures via Box Office Mojo]

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