Taylor Lautner's Dude Problem, and 5 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Thank God it's Wednesday. Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: Aaron Sorkin inches closer to Steve Jobs... Jeremy Renner shares his Bourne name... David Fincher doesn't want to do The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest (for now)... Jimmy Fallon apologizes to Michelle Bachmann... and more.

· Let's make this quick and get to the turkey: This is a little late in coming, but reportedly a male admirer at last week's Breaking Dawn - Part 1 premiere at the Nokia Theater shouted feverishly at the screen near the end of the film: "Taylor Lautner, you're a sexy fuck!" Sir! Neither the time nor place! Where were you when Abduction needed you? [THR]

· Aaron Sorkin, who was previously reported to be in the running to adapt Walter Isaacson's recent biography of the late Steve Jobs, is inching ever closer to taking the job: "Sony has asked me to write the movie and it's something I'm strongly considering. [...] Right now I'm just in the thinking-about-it stages. It's a really big movie and it's going to be a great movie no matter who writes it." [E! Online]

· The name of Jeremy Renner's character in The Bourne Legacy is Aaron Cross. Tell all your friends. [Empire]

· Asked if he wanted to continue directing the English-language Millennium Trilogy after next month's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, David Fincher replied: "At this point, no. But ask me again in two months. I'm so tired right now I can't think straight. You don't ask a woman in labor, 'Do you want another child?'" Especially when she doesn't get paid millions to deliver it. Anyway, he'll be back. [Reuters]

· Jimmy Fallon publicly apologized for the Roots' choice of "Lyin' Ass Bitch" to introduce Rep. Michele Bachmann during her appearance Monday on Late Night. It gets funnier: He also invited her back on the show. [AP]

· To the naysayers who think the critically beloved Hugo is too cineaste-y to hold youngsters' attention, Glenn Kenny has awesome evidence to the contrary. Huzzah! [Some Came Running]