Julie's Thanksgiving: 5 Movie-Related Things I'm Thankful For in 2011
Once again, it's that time of year to overeat, yell at family members and give thanks. For you though, dear Movieline family, I will cut back on the profanities and gorging and instead share the five movie-related things that I am most grateful for this year.
1. Movie Ushers Who Let You Sneak Starbucks and Reasonably-Priced Candy Bought From a Second Location Into the Theater (You Know Who You Are)
First off, a genuine moment of appreciation for the real heroes of my more recent moviegoing experiences. Not Martin Scorsese or Taylor Lautner or the audience members who didn't pass out/puke during Human Centipede 2, but the minimum-wage earning theater workers who didn't vehemently protest my outsider latte or Target-procured M&Ms like they were being paid millions to fight a war on third-party concession snacks. Thank you.
For the rest of you uncool ticket takers, why don't you keep an eye out for alcohol-sipping, sunglasses-sporting "moviegoers" carrying double-sided knife-hammers, meat thermometers or any kind of stabbing implement and leave my latte alone.
2. Bill Murray
I am grateful for the one actor who can brighten my day, whether he arrives in an obscure casting announcement, a completely random Harvard marching band performance or any of my favorite movies like Meatballs, Rushmore and Lost in Translation.
3. Outrageous Film-Related Crimes That Miraculously Injure None But Entertain Many
While I don't support underage drinking or Pittsburgh carjackings, there are no news stories I love reading about more than crimes that are ridiculously blamed on films. They are pretty ingenious. Take for example the 21-year-old who tried to carjack a plainclothes police officer near the Dark Knight Rises this August -- and then tried to tell the officer that the carjacking was part of the Batman sequel's script. Amazingly idiotic! Or yesterday's Twi-hard teen who turned to booze after her boyfriend failed to take her to a Breaking Dawn -- Part 1 screening. Someone once said that it takes a fool to entertain the masses (okay, I said that) and these half-brained criminals are my fool of choice.
4. Real-Life Porn Stars and Vampires Who Are Willing to Guest Review Movies
The world really would be a less-informed place if adult film superstar Joanna Angel hadn't explained to Movieline how Bucky Larson: Born To Be a Star presents a surprisingly honest depiction of the porn industry or if real-life vampire Merticus hadn't revealed that vampire sex is indeed as intense as Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart depicted it in this month's The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn -- Part 1.
5. Katherine Heigl's Year-Long Sabbatical
I think I speak for most of you when I say, "Phew!" We really needed a Katherine Heigl break after the nasty one-two punch she delivered last year with Killers and Life as We Know It. You and I only have a few more weeks to enjoy this Heigl-less existence though because the former Grey's Anatomy diva returns to the multiplex for the most grotesque ensemble movie event this year since Human Centipede 2 -- Garry Marshall's New Year's Eve.
What movie-related things are you thankful for?
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Comments
1. Lars Von Trier continues to maintain his image as the controversial, off the cuff, brilliant filmmaker we both know and love.
2. Drive
3. The fact that David Fincher's The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is just around the corner.
4. Brett Ratner is no longer producing the Academy Awards and Eddie Murphy is no longer hosting. Instead, Billy Crystal!! Oh, and Ricky Gervais returns to the Globes.
5. Finally, at last, this horrendous year for movies is finally at an end. With some few exceptions (Drive, The Ides of March, Contagion, The Trip) 2011 has been one of the worst years for cinema that I can remember. And the tantalizing list of sure to be stupendous films set to be released next year hasn't helped (The Dark Knight Rises, Cogan's Trade, The Master, Django Unchained, Savages, Only God Forgives, Skyfall, Magic Mike).
I will be grateful that I don't run across your column very often. Killers was pretty ordinary but there here was nothing wrong with Life As We Know It. Pretty good flick if you like the genre. I will be grateful when the press stops treating Heigl like a punchbag and turns their attention to many people much more deserving. I can't think of a celeb who takes as much unfair flak as she does.
Life As We Know it was fairly watchable, I'll give you that. Killers, however, wasn't just ordinary, it was actively awful.
The problem with your argument is that the anti-Heigl sentiment isn't "unfair flak" -- she brings it on herself with terrible, terrible movies. And they're all so same-y! I actually think she gets off fairly well in the media as a celebrity since the focus is usually not on her personal life choices but her professional ones, and as an actor sort of invite scrutiny by default. So... yeah. Team Julie.
I'll also back up Julie. Heigl is a terrible actress and she deserves all the criticism she gets. Actually, can you really call someone an "actress" if they are just themselves in every movie? I'm not going to pretend like I've seen Life as we Know it, but I saw the trailer and if I had had a knife at my disposal while watching it, I would have enacted the final act of Oedipus Rex.