Darren Aronosfky's Noah Fast-Tracked to Shoot Next Spring
Seems the folks at Paramount and New Regency are itching to help Darren Aronofsky build his ark; as Deadline reports, the two have finally sealed the deal to partner on the $100+ million Biblical epic Noah. Also: It's being fast-tracked to begin production as early as next spring, which means it's about time Aronofsky gets to casting this sucker. Can we just take a vote for Christian Bale as Noah and call it a day? [Deadline]
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Can we just vote to NOT make this movie at all? This is the most ridiculous piece of fiction in the entire bible - and, yes, I do realize there are people turning into pillars of salt, married women who are still somehow virgins and that whole Garden of Eden nonsense. Aronofsky owes us better than this after that Black Swan circus!
4 superior options Paramount should (or did?) consider:
1.)Let Mel Gibson direct and STAR as Noah! Perfect casting; he can grow back that amazingly biblical beard he had a few years back, plus Noah liked to drink! Remember the part in Maverick where he gets wasted on that riverboat? Think how awesome that would be on an ARK!
2.)Get Roland Emmerich to direct. Noah and the Flood? It's the original disaster movie b!%&#$! A script immaculately conceived by the almighty himself! Cusack, Quaid, Will Smith or, best of all, Matthew Broderick as Noah.
3.)Go the family comedy route. Kevin James on an Ark with a bunch of talking CGI animals. Or the timelessly funny Tim Allen. After all, somebody has to build that darn Ark, and who better than mister Home Improvement himself?
4.)Costner
...all these would be in IMAX 3D of course
Emmerich would NEVER do it! What monuments could he destroy? Unless he wanted to make it seem like the flood is how six of the Seven World Wonders vanished. Hanging Gardens of Babylon... flooded! The Colossus of Rhodes... toppled by floods! The pyramids survived, but their outer layer gets ripped off... by floods! Hmmm....