Madonna's Publicist Responds to Hydrangea-Gate, Considers the Hydrangeas' 'Feelings'

Apparently some people felt an apology was in order after Madonna was overheard dissing a gift she received from an ambushing fan at a Venice Film Festival press conference for her new, lovingly panned movie W.E.. "I absolutely loathe hydrangeas," she purred, adding, "[The fan] obviously doesn't know that." You know what I say to that? LEGEND. She is a LEGEND. Also: Madonna is a prim English rose, you simpering plebe! She is not a baroque tolerator of hydrangeas! But her publicist would like to address her offending comments anyway.

Said Madonna's rep, via CNN:

"She's entitled to like any flower she wants and she didn't want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world. No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world but she prefers different types of flowers."

Several things:

1) Let me read that back. She "didn't want to hurt the feeling of the hydrangeas of the world"? There's a typo here for sure, but I assume Madonna's fake-apologizing for hurting hydrangeas' feelings and ordering her publicist to joke about it. It's a decent concept that fell apart in execution. Fine.

2) "No disrespect to the hydrangeas lovers of the world." That's kind of cute, but unfortunately there's another typo! Come now, Camp Madge! Let's reread our snark a couple times before sending it off to Wolf Blitzer's people!

3) You could argue that Madonna should apologize to the fan, but you know what? That fan jumped the barricade. She actually owes him nothing. And if he's a real fan of Madonna, he should be inspired by her dismissive wrath. Doesn't he relish the icy chill of Erotica? Or at least the icy acting styles of Shanghai Surprise? Get with it, freak. Madonna's an unholy sorceress and she just paid you her highest compliment -- that epically patrician sneer. Get on your knees and chant "Like a Prayer," sir, because she just took you there.

• Madonna: Living in a hydrangea-free world [CNN]