'Je Veux Pisser': Gérard Depardieu Drains Main Vein in Middle of Plane

When Gérard Depardieu's gotta go, Gérard Depardieu's gotta go. The passengers and crew of an Air France flight from Paris to Dublin learned that the hard way today when the legendary French actor, denied entry to one of his plane's locked lavatories, proceeded to empty his bladder on the floor.

Why? Come on. Are you going to tell Gérard Depardieu where to pee? He is like a wolf -- a corpulent, inebriated wolf prowling the carpeted corridors of modern aircraft, but hey. Actually, according to witnesses, Depardieu did attempt to follow puny mortal custom by visiting the plane's lavatory. There, a flight attendant turned the 62-year-old away, explaining that the doors would be locked for 15 minutes until the plane had taken off. "Je veux pisser, je veux pisser," he was heard to say; a "disgusted" observer confirmed that Depardieu appeared to have been drinking. Really? What was the first clue? He only proceeded to unzip his pants and piss all over the floor.

The flight was then redirected back to the gate and delayed for two hours while Air France cleaned the carpet. Airline officials confirmed to French TV that Depardieu indeed drained the main vein in the middle of their plane, but they have not yet determined what recourse they will seek, if any. Suggestions?

· Desperate French actor Depardieu urinates on plane [AP via THR]

[Photo: Getty Images]