Bradley Cooper Won't Play The Crow, and 5 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in this Tuesday edition of The Broadsheet: Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy may team for ID Theft... G.I. Joe 2 signs up Walton Goggins... J.R.R. Tolkien heads to the big screen (sorta)... and more ahead.

· If you were among those stunned to read Bradley Cooper was talking with director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo about starring in the remake of The Crow, this news should warm the cockles of your heart: Cooper had to bow out of Crow consideration due to a scheduling conflict. The bro-tastic Hangover star is set to shoot Paradise Lost for original Crow director Alex Proyas in early 2012 (irony!), the same time frame that Fresnadillo will film The Crow. No word yet on who will replace Cooper, but THR reports Mark Wahlberg and Channing Tatum have come up in discussions. [THR/Heat Vision]

· Melissa McCarthy is officially like Hansel: so hot right now. She's attached to star opposite Jason Bateman in ID Theft, a comedy about a guy (Bateman) who gets his identity stolen by a thief (McCarthy). The role was originally written for a man, but after seeing McCarthy in Bridesmaids over the summer, Bateman pushed for a change. Steve Conrad (The Pursuit of Happyness) wrote the script, with Craig Mazin (The Hangover Part II) working on the rewrite; expect ID Theft to shoot during McCarthy's Mike & Molly hiatus next spring. [Deadline]

· Justified favorite Walton Goggins has joined the cast of G.I. Joe 2: Retaliation as Warden Nigel James (great name). He's just the latest newcomer to the Jon M. Chu-directed sequel, joining Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Adrianne Palicki and possibly Bruce Willis. Channing Tatum returns from the original. [Variety]

· Author Steve Hillard will adapt his novel Mirkwood for the big screen. The book focuses on a fictional version of Lord of the Rings writer J.R.R. Tolkien. [THR/Heat Vision]

· HBO had such a good time with Todd Haynes on Mildred Pierce that the network has reenlisted him to produce Dope. Based on the novel by Sara Gran, the potential series would follow a heroin addict turned private investigator in the 1950s. Julianne Moore, who previously worked with Haynes on Safe, is attached to star. [Deadline]

· 13 percent of cell phone users fake calls to avoid "unwanted conversation." You're not alone! [THR]