Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner: Let's Cast the Dirty Dancing Reboot
Bad news, nostalgists: the Dirty Dancing reboot is happening. Worse, it doesn't even matter who Lionsgate casts in the lead roles (provided they can, y'know, dance) as the brand itself will sell the movie -- which you will likely see whether you want to or not. (For reference to this phenomenon, see Kenny Wormald and Julianne Hough in the lead Footloose remake roles.) Still! Rather than curl up into a ball and listen to "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" on repeat for the next week to mourn the latest attempt by Hollywood to scorch the earth of your childhood, why not embrace the reboot and help Movieline cast this sucker? Ahead, some casting suggestions for Dirty Dancing.
Dianna Agron as Baby (originally played by Jennifer Grey)
Glee has no shortage of Jennifer Grey replacements -- see also Lea Michele, Naya Rivera and Heather Morris -- but Agron feels like the right combination of attitude, ability, naïveté and strong-will. Plus, of all the female cast members on Glee not named Amber Riley, she's the biggest mystery: Michele, Rivera and Morris have all been stretched to the limit on Ryan Murphy's Fox series; Agron still feels like a relative newcomer to the audience, but with the added cache of being on a hit series and recognizable to millions. Assuming Lionsgate doesn't cast an actual unknown in this role -- a real possibility -- Agron is the next best thing.
Channing Tatum as Johnny (originally played by Patrick Swayze)
Before you break a finger flipping off this suggestion, note that Ryan Gosling is the obvious choice to play Johnny in any Dirty Dancing reboot; not only is he charming, handsome, totally manly in a way that excites both sexes, and great at being the bad boy, he can also -- as Crazy, Stupid, Love. taught everyone -- do The Move. Gosling is ideal for this. He's also entirely too famous and entirely too savvy to step into Patrick Swayze's shoes. As such, dance-film alum/notorious ex-stripper Tatum is the fall-back, and -- for the audience that will line-up to see Dirty Dancing -- a solid one. Put him on the poster shirtless and this thing opens to $25 million.
Zoe Saldana as Penny Johnson (originally played by Cynthia Rhodes)
Penny needs to be physical on the dance floor and world-weary off it to contrast burgeoning Baby. Saldana can affect both of those traits in equal measure, all while maintaining dignity and strength in the face of a cheating boyfriend and unwanted pregnancy.
Sam Waterston as Dr. Jack Houseman (originally played by Jerry Orbach)
Let's keep the Law & Order connection alive! Waterston might be a bit soft to play a guy who basically spends the last act of Dirty Dancing in various stages of vexation, but this is too good to pass up. Besides, who else is Lionsgate going to get for this, Chris Cooper? (They aren't going to get Chris Cooper.)
Max Minghella as Robbie Gould (originally played by Max Cantor)
Thanks to The Social Network, Max Minghella could probably play a vaguely unlikeable jerk in movies from now until the end of Facebook. Robbie is a total skeezeball in Dirty Dancing -- the type of guy who cheats on Baby's sister, coaxes med school money from their father, and knocks up the girl he cheated with -- and Minghella has the charms to make that kind of jerkface believable as a nice-guy sociopath who could pull double-crosses like that off.
Michael Shannon as Max Kellerman (originally played by Jack Weston)
My memory of resort owner Max Kellerman is limited to loud suits and gruff, waddling theatrics, but either way, every movie needs some eccentric character actor to come in for a few days, kill a supporting part, and leave. Shannon might be too big by the time Dirty Dancing comes out (see: Man of Steel), but he's just the right kind of scene-stealer. Alternate: John Goodman.
Patricia Heaton as Marjorie Houseman (originally played by Kelly Bishop)
Fun fact: Kelly Bishop, erstwhile Baby mama and Gilmore Girl matriarch, could probably still play Marjorie Houseman to great effect -- she doesn't look that much different now at 67 than she did at 43 in 1987. Alas, assuming this Dirty Dancing doesn't invite her back, Patricia Heaton could be the next best thing, especially because she has her own illustrious career of playing judgmental, but ultimately fair, mothers.
While you consider those suggestions, watch the iconic finale of Dirty Dancing and add your own cast roster in the comments below.
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Comments
I'm sorry, but why is this reboot suddenly becoming completely un-Jewish? Sam Waterston indeed...
As far as I can tell -- through Internet searches and the like -- Dianna Agron was raised in a Jewish household. So, no, my fantasy casting for the reboot is not completely un-Jewish.
Agron is waaay too hot for the role. This needs to be more of a girl-next-door, ugly ducking-to-swan, kind of actress.
Channing Tatum in the lead role. Um sure thing, why not remake Grease and get Ashton Kutcher to play Danny.
Shhh, don't encourage them.
Kinda? It's gotta be someone who can play both the duckling and the swan; I think you're better erring on the side of swan.
This movie is a classic and should not be Rebooted! It should be left as is. I will not go to see it !
AGRON can't act.
Baby should look Jewish and well should be able to act. Plus Dianna always says she grew up a dance but I have yet to see anything to prove that.
And an actress who can act. Dianna is out on all counts.
Agron's thin, nasal, high-pitched voice is a major liability.
I am so looking forward to seeing how they remake this fantastically classic movie but I could see channing doing Johnny but as for the rest of the cast it should be changed the character of baby needs to look young and she does not look young
So many questions. Is it still going to be set in the early 60s? Is it a reboot or a straight remake? How about Sasha Mallory from the current season of So You Think You Can Dance? She's beautiful but could certainly be plain Janed for the ugly duckling portion of the story, and more importantly she knows how to dance.
I mean for the role of Baby, of course.
They should have Julianne Hough playing Baby. She fits the part perfectly n she has that innocence about her. Saw her in a Footloose screening n she killed that role w/that dancing n acting.
I disagree with ALL of this (except MAYBE Sam Waterston).
That's kinda why she can't play the role; already associated with Footloose. She did come up though.
I want it to take place in the '60s as well. I doubt that happens.
Thanks?
I really like the idea of taking someone from the So You Think You Can Dance world.
Such as Kathryn McCormick or Lauren Froderman perhaps....
It's the acting that I worry about with them maybe, but I'm sure they could pull it off.
Diana is an interesting choice, she certainly has the look BUT I don't think she's Baby.
As for Channing Tatum, yes, he was in Step Up, but that doesn't make him Patrick Swayze.
Once again, how about someone like Pasha from SYTYCD?! I realize those guys aren't the only dancers out there, but there are really good! And this is a dance movie after all!!
Sorry, I meant they're**
I also thought of another dancer, Chelsea Hightower!
Dianna Agron crack me up that people think she is a movie star she is so bland.
She hasn't been able to even stand out on glee she has no comedic timing and Baby needs that at little plus Baby needs to be pretty Jewish looking unless they plan on changing the premise of the set up of the movie and the Catskills.
Chelsea Hightower is actually not bad. Maybe not as Baby, but perhaps Penny?
BABY: Dancing with the Stars appearer Chelsea Kane. Her Disney background means she can at least overact, plus she can dance and has an exquisite bare midriff.
JOHNNY: Hugh Jackman. Or Justin Timberlake. Or Justin Bieber. Ahh, who cares.
MAX (who, btw was played by the great JACK Weston, not Sam): Paul Giamatti. Or Jon Polito.
DR. JACK: Okay, Waterston...
...and that's enough, since I'll never see this movie anyway.
I could see her as Penny, yeah.
But why not Baby?!
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