Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner: Let's Cast the Dirty Dancing Reboot
Bad news, nostalgists: the Dirty Dancing reboot is happening. Worse, it doesn't even matter who Lionsgate casts in the lead roles (provided they can, y'know, dance) as the brand itself will sell the movie -- which you will likely see whether you want to or not. (For reference to this phenomenon, see Kenny Wormald and Julianne Hough in the lead Footloose remake roles.) Still! Rather than curl up into a ball and listen to "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" on repeat for the next week to mourn the latest attempt by Hollywood to scorch the earth of your childhood, why not embrace the reboot and help Movieline cast this sucker? Ahead, some casting suggestions for Dirty Dancing.
Dianna Agron as Baby (originally played by Jennifer Grey)
Glee has no shortage of Jennifer Grey replacements -- see also Lea Michele, Naya Rivera and Heather Morris -- but Agron feels like the right combination of attitude, ability, naïveté and strong-will. Plus, of all the female cast members on Glee not named Amber Riley, she's the biggest mystery: Michele, Rivera and Morris have all been stretched to the limit on Ryan Murphy's Fox series; Agron still feels like a relative newcomer to the audience, but with the added cache of being on a hit series and recognizable to millions. Assuming Lionsgate doesn't cast an actual unknown in this role -- a real possibility -- Agron is the next best thing.
Channing Tatum as Johnny (originally played by Patrick Swayze)
Before you break a finger flipping off this suggestion, note that Ryan Gosling is the obvious choice to play Johnny in any Dirty Dancing reboot; not only is he charming, handsome, totally manly in a way that excites both sexes, and great at being the bad boy, he can also -- as Crazy, Stupid, Love. taught everyone -- do The Move. Gosling is ideal for this. He's also entirely too famous and entirely too savvy to step into Patrick Swayze's shoes. As such, dance-film alum/notorious ex-stripper Tatum is the fall-back, and -- for the audience that will line-up to see Dirty Dancing -- a solid one. Put him on the poster shirtless and this thing opens to $25 million.
Zoe Saldana as Penny Johnson (originally played by Cynthia Rhodes)
Penny needs to be physical on the dance floor and world-weary off it to contrast burgeoning Baby. Saldana can affect both of those traits in equal measure, all while maintaining dignity and strength in the face of a cheating boyfriend and unwanted pregnancy.
Sam Waterston as Dr. Jack Houseman (originally played by Jerry Orbach)
Let's keep the Law & Order connection alive! Waterston might be a bit soft to play a guy who basically spends the last act of Dirty Dancing in various stages of vexation, but this is too good to pass up. Besides, who else is Lionsgate going to get for this, Chris Cooper? (They aren't going to get Chris Cooper.)
Max Minghella as Robbie Gould (originally played by Max Cantor)
Thanks to The Social Network, Max Minghella could probably play a vaguely unlikeable jerk in movies from now until the end of Facebook. Robbie is a total skeezeball in Dirty Dancing -- the type of guy who cheats on Baby's sister, coaxes med school money from their father, and knocks up the girl he cheated with -- and Minghella has the charms to make that kind of jerkface believable as a nice-guy sociopath who could pull double-crosses like that off.
Michael Shannon as Max Kellerman (originally played by Jack Weston)
My memory of resort owner Max Kellerman is limited to loud suits and gruff, waddling theatrics, but either way, every movie needs some eccentric character actor to come in for a few days, kill a supporting part, and leave. Shannon might be too big by the time Dirty Dancing comes out (see: Man of Steel), but he's just the right kind of scene-stealer. Alternate: John Goodman.
Patricia Heaton as Marjorie Houseman (originally played by Kelly Bishop)
Fun fact: Kelly Bishop, erstwhile Baby mama and Gilmore Girl matriarch, could probably still play Marjorie Houseman to great effect -- she doesn't look that much different now at 67 than she did at 43 in 1987. Alas, assuming this Dirty Dancing doesn't invite her back, Patricia Heaton could be the next best thing, especially because she has her own illustrious career of playing judgmental, but ultimately fair, mothers.
While you consider those suggestions, watch the iconic finale of Dirty Dancing and add your own cast roster in the comments below.
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Comments
I enjoyed the original Dirty Dancing. It was a classic, grew up watching it. I am sorry, This cast is ridiculous, you are going to turn it into a teeny bopping sob story. i will say, most of the cast was in some great movies, but, I feel like some movies should not be remade. It is like spitting on it and saying lets clean it up a bit. This is a bad idea, and it will flop. Can't you come up with any more ideas that you think you can take an original awesome movie and "TRY", I say try, to make it better? It will never skim the surface, but enjoy your wasted money and flamers.
Naysayers please RELAX!
It's not a "remake!" It's a "re-imagining."
It'll be set in 2000 and will feature the re-birth of "break dancing" as a cultural recumberance during a time of turmoil and strife between poor kids and the authorative forces that try and keep them down.
Also? There'll be nudity.
Why do you people make my job so difficult?
Think about the "re-imaginings" of PLANET OF THE APES, CAN'T BUY ME LOVE and THE WIZ!
(Yeah, that shuts you up, doesn't it?!)
Love,
Development Exec
I agree. Hollywood existed for decades without remaking every other flick out there. Can't they do something new? Haven't they learned that remaking classics such as this rarely succeed? Footloose, Dirty Dancing, STOP THE MADNESS!
Just a suggestion for the role of Johnny; what about Donnie Wahlberg? He can dance and is great on the eyes. His personality I think could make a great Johnny Castle, especially for the re-imagining of Dirty Dancing.
I...can't see any of these. The only one I might even remotely be comfortable with is Zoe Saldana, who is awesome. The problem is, if this is a TRUE remake and set in the summer of '63...the odds of an upper-class resort in the Catskills having an African-American as one of their primary dance teachers are not good. I just don't see it.
And, with the exception of Agron (whose dancing has been limited to what we've seen on Glee), do any of these people even dance? Both Cynthia Rhodes and Patrick Swayze were dancers before this movie was made. Pretty sure Jennifer Grey wasn't, but...again...she kind of had some great co-stars to help her. In that area, you'd probably be better off casting Heather Morris if you're determined to pick from the Glee cast. She's an incredible dancer.
All in all, though, I just think this whole thing is a horrible idea. And I shudder at the thought of Channing Tatum in a role once occupied by Patrick Swayze. He doesn't have anywhere near the same kind of charisma.
Okay, my bad. Apparently, Channing Tatum was in 'Step Up'. But I will say that the idea of Patricia Heaton as Baby's mother makes me want to cry more than any other suggestion on here.
Sam Waterston, though? I could get behind that. As long as we're exploring the idea of Kelly Bishop back in her original role, though...what about Edward Herrmann?
Chris Hemsworth as Johnny??
...and why does the cast have to be completely jewish??
Dianna Agron certainly had a fairly Jewish upbringing, even if her mother did convert in.
Maybe it would be cool if this time, they cast a really really handsome Jewish guy as the male lead. How about Logan Lerman? Really really handsome, really really Jewish. He just needs to bulk up.
P.S. the original Baby's father, Jerry Orbach, was raised in his mother's Catholic religion. So I don't see how Sam Waterston is worse. Mayflowery, for sure, but a good choice.
I for one will not see the movie...Is Hollywood out of ideas? soon I'll be reading a remake of "Gone With The Wind" O_o
Well, that's a lie. The story/script hasn't even been penned yet. So, I'm not sure where you're pulling that info from, but it's certainly not from a legit source.
Jennifer Shrader Lawrence as Baby....
Ian Somerhalder should play Johnny. He has that bad boy look to him and he could definitely play Johnny. I could hear him saying, "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." I think he is the best choice for the movie.
I watch dirty dancing when I sad, happy, home sick, before I go to sleep. It's my all time favorite movie And everything down to the cast is perfect. I don't see the harm in making another one... If it's bad why worry? There's still the original, that's not going anywhere. However, I feel as if jonny and baby should be played by unknowns. Channing tatum did step up, and I'm worried it'll be like that... No one can replace Patrick.
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