3 Simple Suggestions for a Global Clue Remake

Two and a half years ago, Universal announced that Clue was getting a big-screen revamp in the form of a global caper directed by Gore Verbinski. Well, most of that information remains true: Clue, Gore Verbinski, and globetrotting are all part of the picture, but Universal has dropped the property in favor of its other board game-based projects like Candy Land, Battleship, Ouija, and the Taylor Lautner-attached Stretch Armstrong. Now, here's what makes Clue different than other board games -- at least in my eyes: It rules, and those properties don't. In order to protect the valor of Clue, Movieline is offering three ways for the film to retain the sinister cool of its original film and game(s). Frankly, Miss Scarlet, we give a damn.

1. Keep Lesley Ann Warren

Oscar nominee Lesley Ann Warren is best when she's spouting dialogue in a near-screech or a salty deadpan, and as Miss Scarlet in the 1985 version of Clue, she vamps with baritone sass. In the new movie, I'd like to see Warren on board as another character -- like Mrs. Peacock or Mrs. White -- while reviving the high-pitched insanity of her Victor/Victoria performance. No one's going to recreate Madeline Kahn's performance as Mrs. White, so why not reinvent in a timelessly kooky way?

2. Include the folks from Clue: Master Detective

The bigger, badder, Super Scrabble version of Clue called Clue: Master Detective came out in 1988, and its legacy is respected among Clue aficionados. Original weaponry (a horseshoe!), new mansion rooms (a gazebo!), and best of all, new suspects. Verbinski and the new Clue can benefit from its exotic array of characters: Miss Peach is a saucy southerner (Reese Witherspoon?); M. Brunette is a dastardly art dealer (Jeremy Irons?); Sgt. Gray is a corrupt cop (William H. Macy?); and Mme. Rose is a wacky fortune teller (Helena. Bonham. Carter.). The broader the caricatures, the more fun the movie will be.

3. Don't forget about Clue: Museum Caper's thrilling intrigue!

When I think of Clue re-spun as an international caper, I can only imagine that "Mustard," "Plum," and "Scarlet" will become code names for spies. If the transcontinental element is critical to the new movie's essence, I suggest the screenwriters (Flash Gordon scribes Burk Sharpless and Matt Sazama) incorporate elements of the underrated Clue: Museum Caper. Priceless artifacts, stolen paintings, damning surveillance footage -- it's suspense for the Dan Brown set.

· Universal Drops 'Clue'... [Deadline]