New Trailer for The Three Musketeers Looks Patently Ridiculous
You'll read a lot in the coming 48 hours about how Michael Bay is the scourge of the Earth, Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the dumbest movie of the summer, and the fact that it will make money only proves audiences are stupid. One retort for those of you who actually like Dark of the Moon? At least it isn't The Three Musketeers. Click ahead to watch the latest trailer for his Alexandre Dumas "adaptation."
If you don't remember giant flying zeppelins, massive explosions, and catchphrases like the Street Fighter-approved "round two" in the Dumas source tome, you're not alone. This is based on Dumas's Three Musketeers like Unstoppable was based on a true story. That said, Logan Lerman does make a charming d'Artagnan, and Orlando Bloom seems to be channeling the spirit of Gary Oldman circa The Professional for his role as the film's villain. One question needs to be asked, however: In Michael Bay's worst nightmare, is he Paul W.S. Anderson?
VERDICT: Needs more Optimus Prime.
[via Moviefone]
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Comments
Makes it even more appealing to watch when a snarky site like this smuts it! I can't wait to see it!
Personally, I can't wait for Mr. Anderson's next project, a faithful adaptation of the greatest story ever told. I never understood why every other movie featuring Jesus never mentioned the fact that he fought ninjas with a light saber on a regular basis. The lack of respect for historical accuracy is appalling. Hell, no movie even shows our Lord and Savior taking down the Pharisees in a barrage of gunfire and laser beams.
If you don't like snarky sites that smut, why exactly are you here? Shouldn't you be OD'ing on the latest "Smurf" trailer?
Everytime I look at Ray Stevenson, I lament the fact that MacGruber wasn't a bigger hit, because he reminds me of a jacked up Will Forte and would've been a nice addition to the sequel in my mind, Mac2uber.
I always wondered what the love-child of The Three Musketeers and Wild Wild West would look like.
Poor, poor Ray Stevenson. XIII!!!!
The force is strong on this one...
If they don't get this thing looking better they won't even be able to secure an obvious candy bar cross-promotion.
Author: please stop watching movies and stick to reading books.
Nobody cares if you feel an adaptation does not stay true to the original. Trust me, I've been there. I did not like how Spiderman got his powers in the first movie because it wasn't the same as the comics. Stories evolve, deal with it.
The part of me that loves the book is horrified.
The part of me that adores the "Bad Movies We Love" part of this site is giddy.
Or does Mr. Rosen not write that feature?
And he fought the ninjas using Jew Jitsu, I'm assuming?
How did these 20th century assholes ever become "movie critics"? First, Dark of the Moon was an incredible movie; everything the first two were not. Second, this is a trailer for The Three Musketeers, so why are you crying about Transformers here? Third, this is not a traditional telling of the Three Musketeers story, which is kind of the whole point. There are plenty of good ones of those already, this is supposed to be a new twist on the entire story. Judging by the trailer, it looks like the movie will do just that, and will have a lot of fun in the process.
Fourth, when entire audiences for movies laugh, clap, and cheer throughout a movie, and then applaud when the movie is over, that generally means it was a very good movie. So you calling people like that the world over "stupid" only shows that you're the one with poor taste and even poorer awareness.
That's Louis. And hopefully he will love this one! (In the bad way.)
I think you missed my intentions there. I loved Dark of the Moon. It was awesome. And one of the retorts I would have for those who think it was bad (besides telling them how great it was) would be directing them to this trailer. Because it looks all kinds of awful to me. That's all. Michael Bay 4eva.
Um, first, we are in the 21st century. Second, if this isn't a "traditional telling" of the story, could the producers at least set it in a time when anything that happens in the trailer is vaguely possible? Just saying.