Watch the Fast Five Interactive Trailer: Did J.J. Abrams Already Start a Trend?

Like Bring It On, The Fast and the Furious will not die. Its dunderheaded tenacity as a franchise is endearing, and you'll be titillated to find that the newest installment in Vin Diesel's street-race saga, Fast Five, gives us improbable physics and the venerable Dwayne Johnson, whose resemblance to nearly every Mortal Kombat character cannot be denied. Jump into the interactive trailer! Tell 'em J.J. Abrams sent ya!

Fast forward to the end of the insane preview screen to get to the trailer.

Fine, J.J. These hokey, clickable trailers are fun.

ButaAnyway: These guys! So grizzled and bronzed and hardened and lovable. Is Vin Diesel played by Ben Kingsley yet? Is Paul Walker simply a hologram of old Varsity Blues footage? Is Dwayne Johnson more of a Kano or Jax in the Mortal Kombat universe? (Or a Zangief in the Street Fighter II one?) Is Jordana Brewster just a clever anagram of "Demi Moore, you idiots!"? There's not a thing I dislike in this trailer. Not a thing. Not even myself in the reflection.

The best part is clearly the bridge jump at trailer's end, when Vin and Paul necessarily decide to leap from a plunging vehicle and into... nothing? Into greatness? Into some sort of gravity-defying voodoo they learned at space camp? Whatever's going on here, whatever's real and not, whatever's too outrageous to mention -- I support. It's almost quaint, this genre of movies. Like a comforting old musical. The Scorpion King and I, if you will.

Verdict: I whistle a happy tune-up!