How the New Title for Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Probably) Came to Be

The Planet of the Apes reboot title just changed again. Moving forward, it will be officially known as Rise of the Planet of the Apes. You may now be asking, why the sudden name change? And what the hell does that title even mean? Fortunately, Movieline has answers. Yes, the same source who gave us that transcript of the brainstorming session for the Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows title also happened to get an inside look at the blood, sweat and tears that went into this naming this monkey-oriented franchise tent pole.

Behold, the (made up) transcript:

Studio Exec 1: All right, I was really happy with last week's Sherlock Holmes brainstorming session. Let's try to keep this one just as quick, and more importantly, creative. What've we got?

Studio Exec 2: Well, I was thinking Planet of the Apes: Evolution. Get it?

All three have a good laugh.

Studio Exec 1: No, but seriously, we can't use that. We'll piss off the creationist quadrant right out of the gate.

Studio Exec 3: He's got a point.

Studio Exec 2: Are they a quadrant now?

Studio Exec 1: What else?

Studio Exec 3: How about Planet of the Apes: Monkey Business?

Studio Exec 1: Hm. Is this movie going to be funny?

Studio Exec 3: We could do some rewrites...

Studio Exec 1: We're opening in August.

Studio Exec 3: I mean, really I'm just talking about a couple of banana peel gags to put in the trailer.

Studio Exec 1: The fan boys would shit all over us.

Studio Exec 3: Maybe we should let them! I mean, we've been trying to placate them and what do we have to show for it? Sucker Punch? Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World? Trust me, American familes are going to want to see Monkey Business!

Studio Exec 2: He's got a point.

Studio Exec 1: Did I miss the meeting where both of you figured out the key to new media marketing and publicity? Because if you've got a strategy to control the internet without pandering to bloggers, I'd love to hear it.

Silence. Studio Execs 2 and 3 look at their feet.

Studio Exec 2: What about The Rise of the Apes?

Studio Exec 1: We went over that at the Sherlock Holmes meeting. Batman's got the "rise" titles covered.

Studio Exec 2: Yeah, I was thinking about that. Can you imagine how many people are going to be searching "Dark Knight Rises movie" on Google every day for the next year? We could capitalize on the fact that they're searching "rise" and "movie," and ours will show up when there's no Batman news.

Studio Exec 1: Does it really work like that?

Studio Exec 2: Why wouldn't it?

Studio Exec 1 stares at the ground, deep in thought. He looks at his watch. Another moment.

Suddenly, he claps his hands, as if something was suddenly illuminated.

Studio Exec 1: I like it! Let's go with it. Good meeting, guys!

MONTHS LATER

Studio Exec 1: All right, we've got a situation. It turns out that Rise of the Apes doesn't have the word "planet" in it, and Planet of the Apes: Rise of the Apes won't fit on a marquee. Also, I've got a meeting in ten minutes, so what have you got?

Studio Exec 3: Maybe we should just go back to Monkey Business?

Studio Exec 1: That's what I originally thought, but we don't have the budget for those banana peel scenes.

Studio Exec 2: How about Rise of the Planet of the Apes?

Studio Exec 1: Eureka! I knew I could count on you two!

Studio Exec 3: Wait. Can a whole planet actually rise? Are you talking about the physical planet rising in the solar system? Or are the apes on the planet rising? And if so, to what? I'm sorry, but I don't really understand that title at all.

Studio Exec 1 and Studio Exec 2 give Studio Exec 3 dagger eyes.

Studio Exec 3: Fine. But are you sure that title is close enough to The Dark Knight Rises to steal Google traffic? Does it really work like that?

Studio Exec 2: Can you prove it doesn't? Have you been monitoring Google traffic since we announced the other title?

Studio Exec 3: No... Have you?

Studio Exec 2: God, no! But if you haven't either, I can't see what leg you're standing on.

Studio Exec 3 sighs.

Studio Exec 3: All right, I'll go ahead and write up the press release.

Studi Exec 1: Excellent. Excellent work all around, gentleman! Give your wives my best!

Handshakes. Exits.