In Honor of Rebecca Black's 'Friday,' 5 Dubious Sensations Who Deserve Biopics

No, "Kicking in the front seat / sitting in the back seat" is not a Gwendolyn Brooks couplet about Rosa Parks; it's a key line in YouTube sensation Rebecca Black's video "Friday," which is being "hailed" as the worst song ever. Honestly? It's not that bad. A little doltish and Auto-Tuned, but nothing that another wretched spin of "Boom Boom Pow" couldn't make you forget. Rebecca Black's meteoric rise (about 20 million views, so far) makes us reflect upon other questionable phenomena in pop history, the kinds whose stories still haven't been told on the big screen. Here are five we'd like to revisit.

Milli Vanilli

The road of Rob and Fab is a short, spiky, and ultimately tragic one, but God: Isn't it mind-numbing to think about Milli Vanilli? The intense fame they encountered so quickly? The instant recognition? And then, the wrath they incurred thanks to a skipping tape and the ensuing Grammy forfeit and disintegration? Just insane. And the perfect starring vehicle for two handsome young stars on the make and Drew Barrymore as Diane Warren.

The DeLorean

John DeLorean's long career as an automobile engineer was successful enough; he was the man behind the Pontiac Firebird and the Pontiac Grand Prix, and he prided himself on being a jetsetter and corporate nonconformist. When he developed the DeLorean Motor Company and the iconic vehicle with gull-wing doors that would later feature in Back to the Future, he seemed again like an untouchable tycoon. Unfortunately, his 1982 arrest for drug trafficking blanched his reputation -- even if he successfully argued his way out of a guilty verdict in the face of almost foolproof evidence. It's the original Breaking Bad! Steve Martin, your dramatic chops yearn for this role.

Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?

In 2000, the world was cute enough to be outraged by a primetime gold-digging competition called Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire. Real estate developer Rick Rockwell, who looked like a hybrid of Charlie Sheen and Warren Beatty, picked a bride out of 50 contestants and settled on former emergency room nurse Darva Conger. Let's assume Charlie Sheen's available to play the title doofus (whose ex-girlfriend had filed a restraining order against him); who deserves Darva's role? Michelle Williams?

Tila Tequila

The MySpace phenomenon who rose to real prominence and landed her own dating series on VH1 has enough bizarre episodes in her own life to fill a biopic: a music career (including the single "I F*cked the DJ"), Twitter meltdowns, a catastrophic caucus with the Juggalos. Her story isn't over yet, but we have enough for the first chapter in a saga right now.

Sheenpocalypse

Please trust: It pains me to even type that word again. The past month has been a Carlos Estevez bacchanal of the lowest order, and I can hardly stand to hear about him in any capacity -- unless that capacity is a scathing biopic starring Sean Penn as the win-fixated sitcom star who seems to be either imploding or improving, depending on the level of cogency in his arguments. Oh, and Brenda Fricker as Conchata Ferrell.