Quentin Tarantino Hates Alan Ball's Birds, and 6 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in this Friday edition of The Broadsheet: The Robocop reboot gets a writer... David Simon comments on the arrest of Snoop... The Three Stooges finds its Moe... and more ahead.

· And you thought the Charlie Sheen lawsuit was batty! According to court papers obtained by TMZ, Quentin Tarantino is suing his neighbor Alan Ball, because the Oscar winner's "exotic bird menagerie." Right. Apparently, the birds are so loud during the day that their "obnoxious pteradactyl-like screams" force QT to leave his home and write elsewhere. Hopefully this doesn't impede Tarantino's ability to finish the script for his awesome-sounding spaghetti western homage. [TMZ]

· For Robocop fans, it's up to Josh Zetumer to serve the public trust, protect the innocent, and uphold the law. The hot screenwriter (he also wrote the fourth Jason Bourne film) has been selected to pen the MGM remake of Paul Verhoeven's neo-classic. [Deadline]

· Thursday was a sad one for fan of The Wire: Felicia "Snoop" Pearson -- a non-actor made known by her role on the perennially Emmy snubbed show -- was arrested during a large-scale drug raid in Baltimore. "First of all, Felicia's entitled to the presumption of innocence," David Simon said in a statement. "And I would note that a previous, but recent drug arrest that targeted her was later found to be unwarranted and the charges were dropped. Nonetheless, I'm certainly sad at the news today. This young lady has, from her earliest moments, had one of the hardest lives imaginable. And whatever good fortune came from her role in The Wire seems, in retrospect, limited to that project. She worked hard as an actor and was entirely professional, but the entertainment industry as a whole does not offer a great many roles for those who can portray people from the other America. There are, in fact, relatively few stories told about the other America." [Slate]

· Insert your "Why I oughta" or "Oh, a wise guy, eh?" reference here. Twentieth Century Fox wants Johnny Knoxville to star in the Farrelly Brothers Three Stooges. No negotiations or formal offers have been made just yet, however. [Variety]

· Robert Luketic will direct Brilliant, a heist film about jewel thieves. Judging from his track record (Killers, The Ugly Truth), here's guessing that title is going to be ironic -- and not in the way Lakeshore Entertainment might think. [Variety]

· Because, of course. Salman Rushdie will write a series for Showtime. [Deadline]

· And finally, the actual story you'll be talking about today. An 8.9 magnitude struck off the coast of Japan, triggering a tsunami that ravaged the coast. Click through for the shocking videos and details. [NYT/The Lede]