Gleebasing: Gwyneth Paltrow Teaches 'Sexy' Sex Education

HIGH NOTES

"So just remember, when you're having sex with someone, you're having sex with everyone they've had sex with. And everybody's got a random." -- Holly to the New Directions.

"These things never work out well. My sex tape with J.D. Salinger was a disaster." -- Holly to Puck and Lauren. Also, whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

"All of the dances are Finn-proof." -- Schue to Holly.

LOW NOTES

· Emma Pillsbury's cartoon-ish fear of sex.

· Ryan Murphy's usage of "Afternoon Delight," which has already been done.

**GLEESARY **

Hose Monster -- (n.) The term that Emma Pillsbury uses to refer to male genitalia, of which she is horrified.

Fine Man Butt -- (n.) The term that Holly Holliday uses to describe Schue's posterior after a jazzercise class.

Sex -- (n.) According to Holly Holiday's definition of this, "it is just like hugging, only wetter."

POP QUIZ

1. Emma Pillsbury suggests that the Chastity Club celebrates their abstinence by wearing a _______.

a) promise ring

b) chastity belt

c) chastity belt buckle

d) chastity charm

2. What does Santana like watching while she makes out with girls?

a) Softcore porn

b) Sweet Valley High repeats

c) Hollywood Insider

d) The Notebook

3. What does Schue dramatically write on the dry erase board this week?

a) Education

b) Vegetables

c) Sexy

d) Repro-touchin'

4. Which of the following is Santana not attracted to?

a) Women

b) Abnormally large children

c) Mannequins

d) Shrubs shaped like people

5. Where did Brittany learn about sex?

a) From Anime

b) From Woody the Woodpecker cartoons

c) From the back of cereal boxes

d) From The Old Man and the Sea

6. What is Brittany's tip for using the curling iron?

a) Lick it first to know that it's on

b) Use it in the bathtub to reduce burns

c) Don't plug it in right away

d) It makes great grilled cheese sandwiches

ANSWERS: (1) d; (2) b; (3) c; (4) b; (5) b; (6) b

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