Press Release of the Day: Hoo Boy, Matey! Guess Who's 80?

BREAKING: "You're invited to cover the 80th birthday celebration of Gavin MacLoed [sic] ('Captain Stubing,' The Love Boat) onboard the Golden Princess! The ship will be docked in San Pedro for the celebration. There will be photo opportunities with MacLoed [sic] and the ships crew will gather to sing "Happy Birthday" as he blows out 80 candles on a 5-foot cake, a 3D replica of the ship! Wednesday March 2nd - 12 Noon - port at San Pedro, Los Angeles." MUST CREDIT MOVIELINE.