30 Pro Tips For a Successful Celebrity Interview

THE ADVANCED

DO be politically incorrect in appropriate situations. For example, if you didn't win that Grammy that you were expecting, it is perfectly acceptable to say you are disappointed. This makes a better soundbite and is honest.

DO screw over your publicist and call into a completely random sports talk show to talk about rumors of your drug abuse and prostitution-filled lifestyle. It will seem random -- but low key!

...but DO NOT ever suggest that crack cocaine is a perfectly acceptable habit if it can be managed socially.

DO NOT trash your hometown for sport.

DO NOT agree to an interview within a five-mile radius of Gary Busey, as demonstrated by Jennifer Garner.

DO NOT agree to an interview within a five-mile radius of Courtney Love, as demonstrated by Madonna.

DO NOT become unnecessarily hostile with a local news interviewer who is wearing a Party City clearance top hat, as demonstrated by Quentin Tarantino in the clip below.

DO NOT talk about the cute things your kids did today. We don't want to hear that from friends and we don't want to hear that from celebrities.

Unless you are hellbent on appearing crass, maybe DO NOT talk about "jamming" your co-stars.

DO make interesting and controversial forecasts about the industry if you believe them. (See: Roger Deakins predicting the end of film.)

DO make your interview fun -- like Channing Tatum did recently for GQ by packing a bag full of Snuggies, Patrón and glowsticks -- and taking his GQ interviewer camping. This not only produces an interesting read but it makes you seem down-to-earth and (gasp!) likable.

DO create the illusion that you are pleasant and charming. That is why you are paid ungodly sums of money and why we supposedly like reading about you in the first place.

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