Two and a Half Men Producer Throws Charlie Sheen Under the Bus

On Monday, Downward Spiral All-Star Charlie Sheen waged war on Two and a Half Men producers for shutting down production on the CBS sitcom because of his so-called "personal problems." Calling into The Dan Patrick Show, the actor battle cried, "I'm here and I'm ready, they're not. Bring it." (He also found time for a few other delightfully monstrous quotes about crack being socially cool.) Planned or not, just hours later, Two and a Half Men creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre responded to his problematic star via network TV.

Using his trademark vanity cards, Chuck Lorre referenced Sheen's personal demons at the end of last night's episodes of Two and a Half Men and Mike & Molly. Take a look for yourself.

Two and a Half Men Vanity Card, #329

I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I've had chest x-rays, cardio stress tests, EKG's and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I don't have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.

If Charlie Sheen outlives me, I'm gonna be really pissed.

Mike & Molly Vanity Card, #330

He felt dead inside.

No matter how hard he partied, he could never escape that simple fact - inside, dead.

And that was his life.

Running from a feeling.

At least until he could run no more.

Exhausted, spent and beaten, when the end finally came, he welcomed it.

With life ebbing from his wasted body, he was suddenly swept up in a transcendent state of joy that was pure and complete.

Moments later he felt dead inside.

Charlie Sheen, the ball is in your court. If you care to respond, call into The Jim Rome Show, airing on Fox Sports right now.

[via ChuckLorre.com]