Alternate Suggestions for the Ridiculous Remake Announcements This Week
The Remake: A Star is Born, directed by Clint Eastwood and starring Beyoncé.
The Alternative: Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice
The Logic: Yes, fine -- the two films don't relate at all, and I'm just trying to add a little more fuel to the fire for that 3-D orgy I've already advocated. Besides, this Clint Eastwood-directed remake with Beyoncé is so bizarre that any alternative seemed as good as the next. How about How Green Was My Valley with Charlie Sheen and Carey Mulligan? See?
The Remake: Annie, with Will Smith, Willow Smith and Jay-Z connected somehow.
The Alternative: The Bad Seed
The Logic: The fact that Will Smith is buying star-vehicles for all of his children is so nauseatingly cute, it'd be nice if those star vehicles had a little bit of edge. Or in this case, a lot of edge. Jay-Z could play a nanny.
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Comments
I refuse to watch any of those remakes, in fact I refuse to watch a remake ever again. Who's with me?
At least when the eventual Yogi Bear remake comes out (my guess is this summer) it will be better than the one currently (?) in theaters.