How Do You Know That How Do You Know is a Bad Movie?

How Do You Know, the new James L. Brooks movie that's about, well, something, I suppose, is not very good. The title, presented in the form of a question (sort of), offers no clue to the merits of the film let alone hints to what the plot of this movie might be about. Honestly, after seeing this movie, I'm still not 100 percent sure what it's actually about. With that in mind, I did my best to come up with 10 questions, Jeopardy! style, based on the title of the film, to offer some clarity to this pressing issue of our time.

A: Owen Wilson, who is 42 years old, plays a Major League Baseball player

Q: How Do You Know your film has been terribly miscast?

A: Owen Wilson plays a middle reliever on the Washington Nationals.

Q: How Do You Know Owen Wilson, as a Major League Baseball player, just became 20 percent more believable.

A: Mark Linn-Baker, most known for playing "Cousin Larry" Appleton on Perfect Strangers, has more presence on the screen than Jack Nicholson.

Q: How Do You Know Jack Nicholson has been phoning in his roles since 2002's About Schmidt? (Honestly, at some time during the past eight years Nicholson morphed into a less funny Lewis Black.)

A: You walk out of a move starring Paul Rudd, Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson and Jack Nicholson and think, Well, at least Kathryn Hahn was good. I wonder why she doesn't get better roles?

Q: How Do You Know that you should have spent more time on the script and less money on hiring talent?

A: By the end of the movie, you really start to sympathize with Paul Rudd.

Q: How Do You Know the moment that you stop trying to care about Rudd's character, George, and more about Paul Rudd, the person? ("Be more specific?" Sure, Alex: Because he seems like a really nice guy who deserves better.)

A: The title of your movie is a question.

Q: How Do You Know your movie has no discernible plot, and therefore you have no idea what to name it? (All apologies to Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? No apologies to Dude, Where's My Car? and Are We There Yet?)

A: When a Kramer vs. Kramer reference gets one of the biggest laughs in the film.

Q: How Do You Know the audience is thinking of a film much funnier than the one they are watching?

A: When your last two movies are How Do You Know and Spanglish.

Q: How Do You Know when it's time to re-watch Terms of Endearment and Broadcast News?

A: There's no one really likable in the film and, yes, at the same time, there's no one unlikable either.

Q: How Do You Know when it may be time to call Billy Zane out of retirement?

A: According to IMDB, Billy Zane has appeared, or will appear, in 25 movies just between 2009 and 2011, alone.

Q: How Do You Know there are 25 worse movies out there than How Do You Know?