5 Totally Sublime Moments in Christmas Variety Special History

We may have timeless classics like A Charlie Brown Christmas to edify our gooey holiday spirits, but maybe it's the not-so-timeless classics that most enrich. I'm talking about Christmas variety specials of the '70s and '80s, the resplendent little tchotchkes they are, and their illegal quantities of trippy bliss. Karen Carpenter in kiddy overalls? Jerry Lawler writing letters to Santa? This is what a holiday should be about. Come with us as we revisit five dada moments in Christmas's primetime past.

1. Karen Carpenter and Kristy McNichol sing together, and maybe Kristy is the winner.

Karen Carpenter is Christmas's musical doyenne, but Kristy McNichol is a subversive little darling. The pair joined with Harvey Korman, puppets, and Richard Carpenter's clinically precise band on 1977's A Carpenters Christmas for a holiday-time tribute to New Year's resolutions. If you can believe it, Kristy's vaudevillian flair may have outshone Karen's best efforts. Footnote: Karen's supremacy would never be challenged again.

2. Donna Summer, Peabo Bryson, John Davidson, Suzanne Somers, Crystal Gayle, John Schneider, and Peter, Paul & Mary battle to make "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" the world's scariest song.

A Solid Gold Christmas is full of such long-gone magic that it may as well be the real Nativity story. Here, a cavalcade of throaty vocalists (with the exception of an operatic Donna Summer) sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" with garrulous determination. Peabo Bryson may be the staunchest "figgy pudding" fan of the modern era, but John Davidson's all-too-earnest "We won't go until we get some!"s put him in pole position. He'll take Charlie Weaver for the win.

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