Quaids Hiring Ghost Writer, and 5 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: Dan Aykroyd keeps selling Ghostbusters 3... Julian Assange turns himself in... Why December is problematic... America has about 15 years to live... and more...

· I generally wouldn't dignify this kind of thing with a response, but Randy and Evi Quaid reportedly are shopping a tell-all about their sad, paranoid pseudo-fame and need a ghost writer to help with the manuscript. "The hunt for a writer to work with the Quaids is happening right now," a source tells Radar (of course). "No one expects them to have any problems getting a publisher." It's a living, right? Good luck! [Radar]

· Barely a moral or professional step ahead of the Quaids, Dan Aykroyd took to the Yogi Bear press circuit to keep piling on Ghostbusters 3 hype. Poor bastard. [ET]

· WikiLeaks ringleader Julian Assange turned himself in to Scotland Yard this morning for questioning over alleged sex crimes in Sweden. Last anyone heard, this would trigger the de-encryption of his poison pill of all-new scandalous corporate documents; nothing so far, will advise... [BBC]

· Speaking of which, WikiLeaks fans and foes alike would do well to check out this defense of Assange's organization: "The secrets remain the problem--they convert even honest public servants, newly enthralled with what they're able to occlude, into sycophants and liars." Potent stuff. [n+1]

· Or if you really want to start the morning off with an upper, how about this: "How America will collapse (by 2025)." Hint: The Quaids' memoir and Ghostbusters 3 play a crucial role. [Salon]

· And finally, a light-hearted diversion into some of the problems presented by December, with this optimistic conclusion: "Eat my ass December, suck a fart out of my colon with a cored out pineapple flown in from Mexico. Die." Must be a Jets fan! [SYFFAL]