Grey's Anatomy Pain Scale: Fishing For Answers

Last night's Grey's Anatomy episode, "Adrift and At Peace," featured the most dramatic line reading of the phrase, "There are no bathrooms out there, you know," ever featured onscreen. And while yes, there were a few other hokey moments that caused Grey's viewers chest pain and loss of feeling in their extremities, there were also brilliant moments -- like when Cristina made an emotional breakthrough whiling holding a 28-pound trout -- in last night's episode that made viewers re-pledge their loyalty to Seattle Grace. So grab that pain reliever of choice as we wade through this week's pain readings.

1. McSteamy Announces "Nothing Says Good Morning Like Shower Sex"

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 2. Truer words may have never been spoken during a Grey's Anatomy shower scene. When McSteamy propositioned his roommate Callie, who was also in the shower that morning (apparently their relationship transitioned from roommates to "roommates with benefits"), Callie turned to him and said bluntly, "Don't take this the wrong way, but sex with you makes me sad." OK, maybe those are the truest words ever spoken during a Grey's Anatomy shower scene.

2. McSteamy Announces That He Had Been Thinking About Someone Else During Sex With Callie The Night Before

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 4. Sorry to harp on this shower scene, but McSteamy and Callie's shower banter was reminiscent of Hepburn and Tracy at their quippiest. I am cutting together a Best Of montage of this 40 second scene now. Stay tuned.

3. Bailey Announces That Residents Can Compete For the Prize Of Pulling a Gallbladder Out of a Patient's Mouth

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 5. Throat pain as a phantom gallbladder rises somewhere deep in wherever the gallbladder is located and through the mouth. As residents giggled like schoolgirls while Miranda Bailey removed a gallbladder with zero incisions, thanks to new technology, she offered her residents the chance to do the same... if they can determine the best way to eliminate fistulas. And so Miranda's Campaign to Rid the World of Fistulas, in tribute to her beloved fistula victim, played by Mandy Moore, continues.

4. Scott Foley Is Introduced As a Charming Seattle Grace Patient in a Wheelchair

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 6. Whiplash caused by sudden swooning. Grey's fans take note: When Scott Foley's character becomes the next Denny, you can remember that his first words on the ABC show were, "How do I look?" to Teddy, before proposing to his girlfriend...so that he would get her insurance benefits. So romantic.

5. A Patient Is Brought In After a Hiking Accident

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 8. Migraine and other post-traumatic pain sensations directly associated to that nausea-inducing 127 Hours screening. Fortunately though, this hiker had fallen into a 100 foot ravine and only suffered a laceration on the ear...because her husband broke her fall. He will not be so lucky.

6. Meredith Reprimands Hunt in the O.R. While A Patient Bleeds Out

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 4. So Hunt was taking a few extra minutes to figure out a game plan while their patient -- the hiker who caught his wife's fall -- let his spew blood from his gut all over the O.R. When Meredith pressed him for a strategy, he shouted, "You can't talk to me that way. If you can't keep our personal problems out of the O.R., then I'll keep you out." Do melodramatic exchanges like this ever happen during emergency surgery?

7. Cristina Yang, One of the Most Skilled TV Surgeons You Have Ever Seen, Spends an Afternoon Fishing Instead of Operating

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 8. Heartache. This devastating storyline has pulled viewers through the otherwise tension-less seventh season. Will Yang put her scrubs back on before 2011? Maybe...but not before she gets all of these mall-watching and fly-fishing urges out of her system.

8. Meredith Interrupts McDreamy and Cristina's Fishing Afternoon to Bitch About Surgery

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 4. This was the best comic relief moment in last night's episode, as Derek calmly took Meredith's angry phone call after Owen kicked her out of surgery, only to react with the words, "Well thank you Dr. Kelly, I think you're doing the right thing coiling the aneurysm and clipping it. Thank you for the update."

9. Meredith and Owen Face Off Post-Surgery

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 5. Tingling relief. Finally, after mounting emotions went unacknowledged between Cristina's best friend and Cristina's trauma surgeon husband (really, how many dramatic shots of Meredith and Owen's eyes full of conflict, regret and anger -- while a patient bleeds out -- can we handle?), Owen dismissed Meredith from the O.R. After surgery, Meredith stormed back in and told Owen what viewers have known for ages -- or months -- that Owen is completely ill-equipped to deal with Cristina's post-traumatic stress disorder.

10. Teddy Proposes to Scott Foley's Character So That He Can Enjoy Her Awesome Insurance Benefits

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 1. A strange sense of pleasure. This could actually be an interesting and heartwarming Teddy storyline.

11. A Hot Biracial Nurse Who Shares Bailey's Passion For Fistulas Asks Her Out

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 4. A WTF-related migraine

12. Callie Slams the Door on Arizona After Arizona Just Left Her Dream Job and Crossed Continents to Be With Her

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 8. Agonizing pain and shriek-inducing cringing. When someone knocked on Callie's door at the end of the episode, as "Silent Night" played softly in the background, I prayed that it would not be Arizona. We had finally gotten rid of her. But there she was, all teary and croaky and full of compliments ("You're pretty.") Fortunately, Callie did the right thing and slammed the door on her.

13. Cristina Cries While Holding a 28-Pound Trout. McDreamy Demands Photographic Evidence of the Moment

Where It Falls On the Pain Scale: 7. Heartache. When Cristina hurts, even when it happens in ridiculous moments like this, we hurt.