The Mike & Molly Fat Joke Tracker: 'This Giant Man Needs 8 Hours to Sleep'

Bad news, tracker fans. Last night's Thanksgiving-themed episode of Mike & Molly was a turkey in the fat joke department. I was expecting Mike and Molly's family to crowd around the table, share thanks and then launch into a full-on fat roast about their lardy loved ones. Instead, we got the following paltry serving. What hath Overeaters Anonymous wrought?

"I didn't know your head size, but the fellow that worked at the hat shop was about your build and it fit him." -- Mike's mom, to Molly

"I"m usually brought in when someone says, 'What the hell are we going to do with the rest of this food.'" -- Mike on his Thanksgiving clean-up role

"That giant turkey needs 8 hours to cook."

--"This giant man needs 8 hours to sleep." -- Molly and Mike

"I might still be drunk from last night but I think I just saw a giant bear in the backyard with his hand on fire." -- Molly's sister on Mike at the grill

That's it. No, seriously: That's it? You can't build a show around fat jokes -- so many fat jokes that a fat joke tracker is necessary each week to keep tabs on the "humor" -- and then whiff on Thanksgiving like this. How did no one make a "bleed gravy" joke here? Talk about a missed opportunity.