Jane Fonda Cried at Burlesque, and 5 Other Stories You'll Be Talking About Today

Also in today's edition of The Broadsheet: Robert Downey Jr. achieves zero Gravity... Footloose gets bumped... Something called Hovercar apparently exists... Death Wish receives the close read it deserves... and more...

· Leave it to Jane Fonda to break the review embargo on Burlesque: "I have not followed [Christina Aguilera] closely before but, wow, she was spectacular: the way she looked, the way she sang, the way she danced and the way she acted. She came across, to me anyway, as likable. You root for her. I found her poignant. I got all teary several times." The accompanying premiere photographs are kind of priceless as well. What do you want from me? This is the world we live in now. [JaneFonda.com]

· Word on the street is that Robert Downey Jr. has shaken off Alfonso Cuaron's cursed Gravity in favor of the book adaptation How to Talk to Girls. [THR]

· Paramount is determined to make Footloose fans wait as long as they possibly can before giving up Craig Brewer's remake: The studio has officially bumped the film from April 1 (fitting!) to Oct. 14 of next year. Paranormal Activity 3 will follow a week later. [Deadline]

· Actual headline: "Disney's Hovercar 3-D: Harry Potter, but with racing?" Do you smell sulfur? [LAT]

· Christopher Sorrentino gets to the fundamental problem of contemporary criticism in his deep, deep read of Death Wish: "[E]very now and then, some movie that appears to be one thing slips into some other reality altogether, without making a big deal about it, and it throws reviewers off their game." [Paris Review]

· Any advice column that includes the line, "[I]f your ex has guns, and he's still a threat to you, wouldn't you feel better having a gun of your own?", is all right by me. [Salon]