27 Alternate Titles for the Precious Sequel
Yesterday, Movieline celebrated the news that Penguin Publishing had enlisted Push author Sapphire to pen a sequel to the book that eventually became Lee Daniels' Oscar-nominated Precious. The new book will reportedly center on "the son of the main character from Push as he approaches manhood -- alone, brutalized and with the soul of an artist." And while Sapphire has prematurely titled the novel The Kid, the higher powers at Movieline understand that this title will just...not...do. So join Louis Virtel, a few writers from the hit sitcom Mike & Molly and I below as we brainstorm more deserving titles for Precious's return.
Our suggestions:
1. Precious 2: Back in the Habit
2. Precious: Harlem Woman of Misery
3. Why Did I Get Precious Too?
4. A Nightmare in Harlem: Precious's Revenge
5. Look Who's Talking 3: Precious's Kid
6. Precious's Bronx Vacation
7. Bad News Precious in Breaking Training
8. Precious 2: Bruise Control
9. Precious 2: When Nature Calls
10. The Prematurely Born Supremacy
11. Legally Precious: Red, Black and Blue
12. Precious Saves Christmas 3-D
13. Precious Jones and the Temple of [Her] Womb
14. Precious Gives Birth: Secret of the Ooze
15. AVP: Alien vs. Precious
16. Kidraiser III: Hell on Earth Based on the Novel The Kid by Sapphire
17. For Colored Girls
18. Big Momma's Halfway House
19. Precious & Mary Go to White Castle
20. Precious, I Knocked Up the Kid
21. Jurassic Precious
22. Mike & Precious
23. The Great Bastard Caper
24. Nanny McPhee Returns to Social Work
25. The Precious Diaries 2: Harlem Engagement
26. Miss Two-Bit Man-Stealer 2: Armed and Fabulous
27. Three Men and a Big Lady
As always, your own titles are encouraged in the space below.
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"A Shake For Breakfast, One For Lunch, Then a Sensible Dinner"
Precious of the Dead
Mission: Precious
Weekend at Precious's
The Fast and the Precious
Beverly Hills Cop 4
Bringing up Precious
Three Men and Precious' Baby
The Taking of Precious 123
Watership Down Sinder
Dial P for Precious
Romancing the Precious Stone
Precious 2: Panic in the Streets
Precious 2: To Live and Die in Harlem
Precious 2: The Kid is All Right
The Trouble with Precious
Vampyros Precious
Precious Doesn't Live Here Anymore
Precious 2: Based on The Kid, the sequel to the novel Push, by Sapphire, Tyler Perry tested, Oprah approved.
2 Precious 2 Furious
"Alone, brutalized, and with the soul of an artist">
You just described all of us commenters here at Movieline.... (especially Old No. 7)
Precious Reloaded
Driving Miss Precious
In the Garden of Good and Precious
Precious's Rejects
Go Ask Precious
What Ever Happened to Precious's Baby?
Hush...Hush, Sweet Precious
Precious 2: In the Mouth of Sadness
Big Phat Bastard
I'd take offense if you weren't dead on balls accurate.
Precious 2: Electric Boogaloo: Based on the novel The Kid by Saphire, which in turn is based on the novel Push by Saphire
Run Precious Run
Precious 2: The Unbearable Heaviness of Being
Miracle on 125th Street
Let Precious In
The Passion of the Precious
Precious's Labyrinth
No Country for Old Precious
Tubs
Precocious
Insider scoop: I was torn between contributing The Great Bastard Caper and Bastard Takes Manhattan. Not sure I made the right choice. I hope we can all talk about this.
RoboPrecious: Precious in the 30th Century
Semi-Precious
Octoprecious
Precious 2: Revenge of the Sith'sta
Precious Gump
Precious the return of Jigsaw
Hellboy 3: The return of Precious
indeed. If they want to do something worthwhile they need to stop playing on this young woman's obesity and giving her jobs because she can play 'the grossly fat girl'. It is a disservice to her and to the young women out there that could see her as a role model.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type that things that girls should all be bony and such. But there's promoting a sensible body image that is healthy and then there's telling girls it's okay to be morbidly obese which is just as unhealthy as being vastly underweight. And even with the 50lbs that Ms Sidibe so proudly announced she had lost, she's still morbidly obese.
Amazing it took that many people to come up with something so devoid of funny it's laughable in itself. Great writing, how hard was it to replace words in a movie title and put precious in its place. Let me try Indiana Precious and the Precious of Precious. Hilarious in all counts. Yuck. I wish I was fat so I would be less offended than your awful attempt at humor. I guess that's the kind of humor the writers from Mike and Molly like it's one big sight gag. Two bumbling fat people gets ya in the funny bone every time. Wokka wokka.
Someone give Reed a hug.