Burlesque's Japanese Trailer: Where is Kristen Bell? Or Sanity?

Burlesque is so lucky that I can't believe it exists. Otherwise I might dismiss its new Japanese trailer for what it is: overacted, undersmart, and more bombastic than Christina Aguilera's "Lady Marmalade" revamp all those years ago. But as is, it's still a staggering trailer that makes you say, "I can't believe Cher and Christina and Stanley Tucci and glitter are all pretending to get along so well." Oh yeah, and also: "Where the hell is Kristen Bell?"

Wow.

Best moment: Stanley Tucci's elitist smirk, a cinematic touchstone.

Worst moment: The omission of 1) Kristen Bell (who I hear steals the show) and 2) Cher's rendition of "Welcome to Burlesque." Listen to that beautiful warble.

Cringe-worthiest moment: Christina Aguilera's line, "Hold on a second, I can do this!" Wait, is this really Christina Aguilera? Or is it perhaps... Cheri Oteri as Christina Aguilera? The latter makes more sense. In fact, Cher is probably played by Tim Meadows.

Why does it have to look so much like: Chicago?

The camp factor is so unintentional that I will have to see this: on opening day. Happy Thanksgiving to me.

Verdict: Come now, theiving gypsy tramps! To the cineplex!