New Sucker Punch Trailer Destroys All Perception of Time, Space and Emotion

I've watched this Sucker Punch trailer twice now and I'm still trying to decide whether I hate it because it genuinely looks awful, or because the fact that I don't get it makes me feel completely out of touch, which in turn makes me resentful. I'm trying to be fair here, and in that interest, it should be noted that the beginning of the trailer uses "When The Levee Breaks" so well that anyone with a pulse will feel at least a little psyched. But I maintain that there's more life in the first verse of that song than in this entire overkill mind-f*ck trailer.

Imagine Pan's Labyrinth filtered through an X-box that just took cocaine and mushrooms. Actually that sounds a little interesting. Just imagine Pan's Labyrinth filtered through an X-Box. And maybe a really lethal dose of cocaine, like an amount that would make you totally paranoid, nervous and exhausted.

The bottom line is that I get bored watching friends play video games and I don't want to watch director Zack Snyder play them either. And really, there must be a more imaginative way to show a mentally ill girl escaping into fantasies without resorting to non-stop video game fights and quest for five items right out of Zelda. Is this the limit of the human imagination now? Barbie dolls fighting dragons and robots, led on some incoherent quest by a wise man who shows up occasionally to spout lines like "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything?" It looks more like the fantasies of a male Junior High shut-in living in the suburbs.

To give Snyder credit, he is a visionary of some sort. For better or worse, no one else makes movies that look quite like this. And the fact that this trailer seems to be a complete retreat from all depth or emotion besides titillation is a little bit interesting in an Andy Warhol-type way. But I still don't want to sit through it.

Verdict: I need a nap.

If the trailer gets pulled, head over to Apple