Sorry, Kids: You Can't See Oscar Front-Runner The King's Speech Without a Parent or Guardian

If you're under 17, I know just what you're thinking: "Damn, I can't wait to see Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush go toe-to-toe in The King's Speech, without a parent or guardian!" Unfortunately, it is my duty to break some bad news to you: You won't be able to.

Because of a scene where Rush's speech therapist encourages Firth's King George VI to unleash a torrent of swear words to help the King overcome his stutter, the MPAA has given The King's Speech an R-rating. As is usually the case with controversial rating decisions, the film's director, in this case Tom Hooper, isn't all that pleased with the ruling.

"What really upsets me is that the boundaries for violence have been pushed farther and farther back while any kind of bad language remains taboo. I'm a filmgoer as well as a filmmaker, and I know what it's like to see something disturbing that puts an image into your head that you can't get rid of. I felt that way in Salt, when Angelina Jolie had a tube forced down her throat against her will to simulate drowning, and I felt the same way in Quantum of Solace where Daniel Craig's [testicles] are smashed in through a chair with no bottom."

"What I take away from that decision is that violence and torture is OK, but bad language isn't. I can't think of a single film I've ever seen where the swear words had haunted me forever, the way a scene of violence or torture has, yet the ratings board only worries about the bad language."

Outside of the fact that Hooper appears to have confused Casino Royale with Quantum of Solace, his complaints about the MPAA double standard seem very accurate and justifiable. That doesn't mean the ruling will change though, at least not according to MPAA rating's board head Joan Graves.

"We've made clear what our language guidelines are, and it's not fair, in fact it would look arbitrary, if we threw it out for just one film. [W]e're trying to give parents a snapshot of what's in a film, not more rules. It's just a lot easier to quantify language than it is violence. Our perception is that parents still feel the same way about bad language, especially in areas like the Midwest and the South, where they often have a problem with God, as in goddamnit. On the coasts, perhaps because they have more urban centers, they're more concerned with violence."

So there you have it? Blue State coastal-types are grossed out by violence, but those Red Staters just hate when people curse and/or use the Lord's name in vain. Way to keep it non-stereotypical, MPAA.

Anyway, when you see The King's Speech later this year, expect to hear a few f-bombs and little else to make your dander rise. If you're a parent, there's always one tried and true way to prevent your kid from hearing such ghastly speech: Earmuffs.

· To the MPAA ratings board, 'The King's Speech' is just as bad as 'Saw 3D' [LAT/The Big Picture]