Paula Abdul's Severed, Lifeless Head Added To American Idol's Judges' Panel

In a surprise move, executive producer Nigel Lythgoe revealed that Paula Abdul's severed head will be joining Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson at the Judges' Table for the upcoming season of American Idol . "Paula has been a long-time fan favorite," Lythgoe stated in a press release, "But her diva behavior was often a point of concern for us. But now that's she's just a severed head, we believe that she'll be able to deliver that great 'Paula zaniness' in a much more manageable form. We're happy to welcome what remains of Paula back to the Idol family." "Bleearghhh...suhugglllpgl [sputter]," Abdul chirpily added. The tenth season of American Idol is scheduled to premiere on January 12, 2011 on Fox