Whining Fat Mafia Wins Apology Over Mike & Molly Slam
So you might have heard a big (ahem) controversy exploded this week after a Marie Claire blogger complained about her disgust at watching Mike & Molly. "[Y]es, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other," wrote Maura Kelly, "because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything." And she was just getting warmed up! So were readers, apparently, quickly mobilizing against Kelly and extracting an apology from her and her editor. Which is too bad, because she was right.
In short, it is perfectly acceptable to be repulsed by morbidly obese people, as is expressing that repulsion as a reaction to their exploitation. They need help. Any show that can prompt and sustain a Fat Joke Tracker is not worthy of anyone's defense, and hearing its co-creator attempt to justify it as being about "embracing everybody" does not change the fact that there is no Mike & Molly without a perennially fat couple at its center. They are disincentivized and discouraged from losing weight and thus, hopefully, avoiding such obesity-related health issues as diabetes, stroke and heart disease. The idea that someone blogged her contempt for everyone involved is shocking only insofar as it didn't happen sooner.
And I know the primary complaint might not have been about Kelly's perspective so much as her approach -- the self-described "bullying" tone for which she's expressed such regret. But let's be honest: This is not about some loose cannon who opened fire on fatties and then cited her own battles with anorexia in attempting to take it all back. This is about a nation that refuses to acknowledge it's not OK to be morbidly obese, and will angrily, righteously turn any such acknowledgment back on its source. This is about a culture that makes a hit out of The Biggest Loser (itself endorsing a not-especially-healthy crash diet-and-exercise routine for maximum, sweeps-friendly effect) and then protests if or when anyone dares suggest obesity is combatable -- and should be combated. This is about a population that refuses to take responsibility for anything but its own victimhood.
It's not complicated: At some point you either get sick of being fat and lose weight, or you give up and write furious, defensive e-mails to people who are on to your BS excuses and self-loathing. Are there medical conditions of which obesity is an effect? Of course, but we're not talking about those afflictions, either, unless Mike & Molly is a sitcom about clinically sick people. We're talking about consequences and our inability (or unwillingness, rather) to deal with them.
And frankly, yes: That is contemptible behavior in an era when child obesity has tripled in the last three decades -- the same period of time during which Mike & Molly's primary demographic came of age and... had kids. That explains a lot about a mindset like that of Mark Roberts, the series co-creator who told James Hibberd, "The shocking thing is we live in a society where this was an issue" -- this despite earlier confessing to his own history of weight problems. Obesity absolutely is an issue; it's no coincidence that the series' titular couple met at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. But again, just as they have sought help and found each other, the series ultimately rewards an unhealthy lifestyle by necessarily prolonging it.
Nobody wins in this schema -- not apologetic Maura Kelly, not defensive Mark Roberts or his partner Chuck Lorre, not Mike & Molly stars Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy, and worst of all not the Axis of Obese Apoplexy that insists and insists that submission to a scientifically proven health epidemic demands tolerance, acceptance and understanding. I do understand, believe me: I once weighed 255 lbs. (42-inch waist!) before going through the hell of shaping up to an even two bills. I knew how people viewed me, and I heard and saw and felt them lie to my face when they said, "Oh, you're not fat." I would have loved back then to be targeted in a rant like Kelly's -- any reality check I could get that would nudge me closer to action. And I don't mean letter-to-the-editor action, either. I mean let's-fix-this action. All fat people and their defenders/apologists privately know this exact feeling right now, and to argue any differently suggests either pathology or straight-up mendacity -- both of which are fully treatable.
Anyway, nearly 11 million people watch Mike & Molly these days, so either the die's been cast for our society or that audience will observe one of the most sincerely inspired -- and inspiring -- story arcs in television history: Mike and Molly lose weight, for themselves and for each other. Of course, then people couldn't laugh at them any more or get pissed when you admit they make you sick. I think I know how this will end, but I'd be the happiest guy on Earth to be proven wrong.
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Comments
My interpretation of the MC article was that the author believed that obese people were not worthy of any kind of respect or dignity, nor were they worthy of love or acceptance. Her disgust regarding obese people “doing anything” sounded much like homophobes talking about the LGTB community or racists talking about those of other cultures and skin tones.
While it is not healthy to be so severely overweight, that does not subtract a person's humanity from them. Kelly's article did. She made these characters, and all fat people in general, subhuman in her writing about them and that is what I have an issue with.
It is not easy to lose weight. There are many, many factors at play for many people. The idea that a person can just put their mind to it, as Kelly suggests, and succeed is ignorant and out of touch with the reality of the situation. I'm glad to hear that you, yourself, lost 40+ pounds. That's wonderful. But was it easy? Did it happen quickly? Have you kept it off? Have you gained any back?
What I want from people like you and like Ms. Kelly, and really, from the rest of the world, is not for you to believe or say that being fat is okay. It isn't okay because it isn't healthy. No, what I want is for you to say that while a person should strive to be healthy (whatever that means for them), it *IS* okay to love themselves for who they are, to love others around them as they are and to be loved in return.
And what Kelly wrote in her article did none of that. And that, my good sir, is why I am whining, in all my fat glory.
He's in showbizness. 195 pounds is obese for a man.
Fat people are not attractive, and it's not bigotry to say so. TV is portraying fat as "acceptable", despite the fact that it's unnatural and caused by laziness, gluttony and stupidity. It's being done in the same way that smoking was once portrayed as "acceptable", except that showing fat people is about pandering to the audience while showing cigarettes was done for advertisers.
Greying hair and baldness, however, both of which occur naturally, are still portrayed by Hollyweird as being "shameful". And considering how many actors are getting older and going grey and balding, it makes me wonder why people are still hiding it - or how long they can.
I am a reformed fatty. I weighted 250 lbs at age 18 and have trimmed down to under 200 (fluctuates here and there since I'm a college student). The fact is, it is ok to be who you are and live your life. If you want to be a heroin addict, be one, but don't get all defensive when people say how horrible it is and how you're ruining your life.
I wish I had a kick in the ass at a younger age akin to the article in Marie Clare. It is NOT acceptable to allow people who eat too much, eat junk food, and don't exercise to go on unchallenged. Kids are raised in a society where being fat of your own accord is considered ok. Where are the consequences? I understand some people have thyroid issues and metabolism issues, but that excuse can get some people only so far.
The bigger issue I have is that the show DEPENDS on the fat jokes and fat storyline. It isn't just about a couple falling in love, but it's about a FAT couple and it pushes the idea that you're fine just the way you are, when you are morbidly obese and in danger of dying before you hit 50 years old just because you just had to have that piece of cake after dinner due to a "sweet tooth".
Bully says you, Crusader for the hard truth no one wants to admit says I.
Being fat is not okay. Period. It is also not in anyone's genetics to be carrying around an extra 50+ pounds. All of a sudden being fat is a disease??? Like the writer of this article noted, this country is filled with people with victim mentalities who refuse to acknowledge how their own actions have contributed to the negative aspects of their life. When travelers from other countries come to the US and see morbidly obese people, they are HORRIFIED. This is the kind of emotion people who have a healthy eating lifestyle (and are regularly surrounded by others with similar lifestyles) have when watching an obese person waddle down the street or struggle to get up from a chair. Get used to it, because chances are the thinner people in this country with more self-awareness and self-control will not join the other team, and will always be disgusted when watching overweight people attempt to wrap their arms around one another (yet fail miserably).
Serioulsy lame writer, if saying in a printed article that watchign fat people kissing is disgusting, how is tath any different than sayign two gay guys kissing is disgusting or two back people kissing is disgusting or a mult -racial coupls kissing etc etc. etc. etc.
i think you get my point.
The blatant hypocrisy of this writer in defending this woman amazes me, cuz if the article was criticizing the people I mentioned above, this writer would be on his or hers high horse denouncing the article
As wrong as it is that
@DeezNuts - You're both wrong, and dumb.
Your analogies are apples and oranges...
Morbidly Obese =/= Gay or Race
Both writers are correct, and you're too ignorant to see why. Which is clear by your failed attempt to compare someone's negative lifestyle CHOICE, to a 'born-that-way' biological and genetic REALITY
You can't choose to be black, or gay... but you can sure as sh*t choose to be fat.
I just watched part of an episode. I watched the main female protagonist (Molly I guess) attempt to sit on a stability ball and roll around for a good 15 seconds. It was hard to watch. Wtf.
I don't think this show necessarily "glorifies" obesity. It certainly raises some issues though…it seems to me the message coming across isn't a positive one either. I hope we as a society do not resign ourselves to a live of overindulgence and unhealthy eating habits.
The reason we find obesity unattractive is bc biologically humans beings are wired to seek the best possible mate. Being the main characters level of obesity has as much to do with lifestyle as it has to do with genetics. This is just as alarming to me as honey boo boo.
I think a positive thing to do as a community is to raise awareness of compulsive overeating. It's very much an eating disorder…I have watched people very close to me suffer with compulsive overrating. What makes this issue so tricky is that the typical treatment for any other addiction is one of abstinence. An alcoholic can fully abstain from alcohol- but a food addict can never fully abstain from their drug of choice. You have to eat to live. What can we do to help reach overweight people that struggle with a food addiction?
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