Whining Fat Mafia Wins Apology Over Mike & Molly Slam
So you might have heard a big (ahem) controversy exploded this week after a Marie Claire blogger complained about her disgust at watching Mike & Molly. "[Y]es, I think I'd be grossed out if I had to watch two characters with rolls and rolls of fat kissing each other," wrote Maura Kelly, "because I'd be grossed out if I had to watch them doing anything." And she was just getting warmed up! So were readers, apparently, quickly mobilizing against Kelly and extracting an apology from her and her editor. Which is too bad, because she was right.
In short, it is perfectly acceptable to be repulsed by morbidly obese people, as is expressing that repulsion as a reaction to their exploitation. They need help. Any show that can prompt and sustain a Fat Joke Tracker is not worthy of anyone's defense, and hearing its co-creator attempt to justify it as being about "embracing everybody" does not change the fact that there is no Mike & Molly without a perennially fat couple at its center. They are disincentivized and discouraged from losing weight and thus, hopefully, avoiding such obesity-related health issues as diabetes, stroke and heart disease. The idea that someone blogged her contempt for everyone involved is shocking only insofar as it didn't happen sooner.
And I know the primary complaint might not have been about Kelly's perspective so much as her approach -- the self-described "bullying" tone for which she's expressed such regret. But let's be honest: This is not about some loose cannon who opened fire on fatties and then cited her own battles with anorexia in attempting to take it all back. This is about a nation that refuses to acknowledge it's not OK to be morbidly obese, and will angrily, righteously turn any such acknowledgment back on its source. This is about a culture that makes a hit out of The Biggest Loser (itself endorsing a not-especially-healthy crash diet-and-exercise routine for maximum, sweeps-friendly effect) and then protests if or when anyone dares suggest obesity is combatable -- and should be combated. This is about a population that refuses to take responsibility for anything but its own victimhood.
It's not complicated: At some point you either get sick of being fat and lose weight, or you give up and write furious, defensive e-mails to people who are on to your BS excuses and self-loathing. Are there medical conditions of which obesity is an effect? Of course, but we're not talking about those afflictions, either, unless Mike & Molly is a sitcom about clinically sick people. We're talking about consequences and our inability (or unwillingness, rather) to deal with them.
And frankly, yes: That is contemptible behavior in an era when child obesity has tripled in the last three decades -- the same period of time during which Mike & Molly's primary demographic came of age and... had kids. That explains a lot about a mindset like that of Mark Roberts, the series co-creator who told James Hibberd, "The shocking thing is we live in a society where this was an issue" -- this despite earlier confessing to his own history of weight problems. Obesity absolutely is an issue; it's no coincidence that the series' titular couple met at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. But again, just as they have sought help and found each other, the series ultimately rewards an unhealthy lifestyle by necessarily prolonging it.
Nobody wins in this schema -- not apologetic Maura Kelly, not defensive Mark Roberts or his partner Chuck Lorre, not Mike & Molly stars Billy Gardell and Melissa McCarthy, and worst of all not the Axis of Obese Apoplexy that insists and insists that submission to a scientifically proven health epidemic demands tolerance, acceptance and understanding. I do understand, believe me: I once weighed 255 lbs. (42-inch waist!) before going through the hell of shaping up to an even two bills. I knew how people viewed me, and I heard and saw and felt them lie to my face when they said, "Oh, you're not fat." I would have loved back then to be targeted in a rant like Kelly's -- any reality check I could get that would nudge me closer to action. And I don't mean letter-to-the-editor action, either. I mean let's-fix-this action. All fat people and their defenders/apologists privately know this exact feeling right now, and to argue any differently suggests either pathology or straight-up mendacity -- both of which are fully treatable.
Anyway, nearly 11 million people watch Mike & Molly these days, so either the die's been cast for our society or that audience will observe one of the most sincerely inspired -- and inspiring -- story arcs in television history: Mike and Molly lose weight, for themselves and for each other. Of course, then people couldn't laugh at them any more or get pissed when you admit they make you sick. I think I know how this will end, but I'd be the happiest guy on Earth to be proven wrong.
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Comments
I don't disagree that our culture has an amazing ability to look the other way when it comes to obesity as a health issue. But when looking for critical analysis of health and body issues, the last place I'm going to turn is Marie Claire. If anything, they're just as guilty of promoting an unhealthy lifestyle, just in the opposite direction.
No one is going to be shamed into losing weight. Like you said, either you get sick of it and do something about it, or you don't. Those who choose obesity or simply don't have the willpower or resources to do something about it probably don't need someone writing angry editorials about how obese people disgust them. These people probably *know* that they're fat. Articles like the one in Marie Claire aren't helping anyone. If anything, they probably add to the shame and self-loathing that led people into obesity in the first place.
I still think it's offensive to say it disgusts you to see two fat people kissing. Seriously?
Even if it does. Keep it to yourself! You want to fight obesity, that's fine with me. But there are many people out there struggling with their weight that don't wanna hear how much they disgust you.
That's just mean and it *does* count as bullying. This week here in Brazil a story hit the news about a group of college students mounting on fat girls like they were cows and playing rodeo. That's just not nice. And shouldn't be allowed.
I know your article is not pro-bullying, but there are stupid people all around just waiting for an excuse. And Maura Kelly's article is a perfect one.
I'm sorry your blog got a hit from me. Some people do everything they can to change their ways. Like any issue, physical or mental, there is a deeper-rooted problem. Obesity isn't always about overeating or laziness. In fact, it almost never is. Not everyone is fit, not everyone is heterosexual, not everyone is white, not everyone is perfect. Not everyone fits in to a mold that you'd have them fit in to. People do try to be healthier, to fit in to the societal norms, to make themselves smaller because a) they want to, b) they need to, and c) people are mean, prejudiced, and hateful. This viewpoint is no different than saying you don't like someone because they are a minority, and that makes it hate spew. Try to grow up. Try to educate yourself. People ARE different. But nobody chooses to be obese, despite what you may think . Because nobody would choose a lifestyle that let's people like you hurt them on a whim.
I agree 100%! I also believe in forcing midgets to wear stilts.
Thanks Tom, I couldn't have said it any better.
you're back. Sunny Days are here again.
😉
This discussion is nothing without before and after pics.
Exactly. No one is asking you to say being overweight is a great thing, but to say "ug, I wish these fatties would just stay inside and not flaunt their fat by kissing, or walking around with their partners, or you know, living their lives" is just kinda sad. Which was in essence, the Marie Claire article: not, "wow, it would be great if people were more healthy", but rather, "how dare fat people walk into my eye line". By that same token, there are plenty of people out there who feel justified in saying "ug, I wish those gays would stay inside and not flaunt their gayness by kissing, or walking around with their partners, or you know, just living their lives", which I think is equally bigoted and pathetic.
I'm not an ambulance chaser concerning comments on controversial issues such as this, but I can't keep my mouth shut. Sophist it to say, the whole thing is super infuriating. Unless you see someone overweight plowing down an excess amount of food, don't assume that they are overweight because they sit on their fanny eating bon-bons and watching soap operas all day. Besides which, it's none of your business. There have always been overweight/obese people throughout history because there have always been endocrine disorders, and viral diseases that don't allow individuals to get the exercise they need, or burn off the fat cells. Especially in a prescription nation we live in, some medications—especially those dealing with renal issues—can cause an individual to gain one-hundred pounds—have you ever seen an individual post-kidney transplant? Not exactly 'heroine chic'. Not to mention all the flipping anti-depressants and mood stabilizers out there that many people who are apart of the mental health community complain make them gain a ton of [water] weight. I'm not saying that every obese person has one of the two issues stated. As for the waif who wrote the article, I'm surprised she had enough time to write it, you know, in between her purging, testing out the latest adult toys, throwing drinks at heavy-set people, taking Speed, attending PETA conventions and anti-hate rallies.
How is this article relevant to MOVIELINE? Isn't this website supposed to be about entertainment news? No one comes on here to read about obesity or health issues. To be subjected to one man's inappropriate and offensive opinions about fat people is crazy - to use this forum to do seems bizarre. "Whining fat mafia"?! Really?! S.T. Vanairsdale, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Oh, and I'm five-feet and 94 pounds, and probably better looking than the tête de merde(s) that wrote the Marie Clare and Movieline article.
Wow. First, where the f*ck was the apology from Marie Claire? and Second -- you're an A@@HOLE ...and why is movieline even sporting this article. Glad you lost the weight. But alas, some folks who have lost a large chunk of weight become like born again Christians, espousing that they've been enlightened. How are those food logs going for you? Well? Have you kept the weight off long? Tell me, do you think that belitting people, telling them they're disgusting and shouldn't be seen is helpful?
Movieline...tsk. tsk. tsk.
S.T. VanAirsdale, as you are so at a lost and set in your self-hating ways (yes, though you've lost your weight, this post of shaming really does wreak of self-hate), why don't you mossy on over to Huffington Post and read Josh Shahryar's take on this.
this is pretty disappointing.
YES, this country has an obesity problem, especially in children- NO ONE IS ARGUING THAT IT IS OK.
However, that Marie Claire article didn't enlighten, didn't teach, didn't raise awareness- it didn't do anything other than sound like a woman with severe phobias and issues airing them out in public- and insensitively.
I'm not overweight- well, maybe ten pounds heavier than I'd like to be- but that is a far fucking cry from morbidly obese.
I think, S.T. (if I can call you ST) the problem with the MC editorial was that it sounded like a shrieking "NO NO NO- GET THE FATTIES, GET THE FATTIES AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!!!!" meltdown. It was insulting because it was unprofessional, it was a vicious knee-jerk spasm of fear and revulsion. Against fat people.
Rail against Mike & Molly for lazy characterization, or bad writing, or for a shitty laugh track- fine, I can accept that. Write about the needs to educate on the dangers of obesity- please do so. But defending a "journalist" who publically showed intolerance is a pretty asshole move.
Now stop for a moment and get off your "I used to be fat, but now I am cured" high horse- like JR points out above there are a lot of reasons that people are overweight, not just a single easy to quantify "fat=lazy/stupid" gene.
I've read a lot of anger at the MC writer's behavior. She came across like an asshole; an arrogant, insensitive prick. If she was writing about queers or people with a different religious or racial background than her own, she would be ostracized and condemned.
In fact, The Fatties seem like the last group self-righteous, arrogant pricks can pick on with impunity. Only, apparently, there is a whining Fat Mafia. Watch what you say about Little People- I hear they have a mafia too.
You have every right to air your feelings on Fatties and on Marie Claire and on whatever you want- but by doing so on Movieline, a website that I had been a regular reader of due to it's up-to-date content on TV and film, you are bringing down the website and also hiding behind it.
Remember that Fatties are people of every stripe and color and creed too- not all of them, are the lazy, whining shits you seem to assume they are-
-Just like not all blacks are lazy watermelon suckers that live off of your taxes, all queers aren't out to "get you" in the showers, all Jews aren't miserly cheapskates, and all Little People aren't drunken Ewoks.
Go ahead and have an opinion- just try not to be an asshole in your future articles.
I applaud all the thoughtful rebuttal comments here. I'm appalled at you, STV. I really am. It's great that you lost the weight -- but you're clearly still carrying around the self-hate.
And, yeah, this post has no place on Movieline.
wow stu. "whining fat mafia?" really? listen buddy, obese people KNOW they are obese and don't need maura kelly and mc to remind them and shame them even further. most work almost their whole lives to combat their genetics. some win the battle, others don't. but obesity is a DISEASE with science behind it and everything. go look up the words leptin, ghrelin and pcos and try to understand that for some reducing your food intake and upping your exercise routine is not exactly what it takes. no one is saying that is ok to be morbidly obese, but accepting who you are as a person (and not being made to feel like less of one by people on the street and at stupid magazines) goes a long way in boosting self-confidence which goes hand and hand with helping to win the obesity battle.
STV, I have to congratulate you on trying to get what hits you can from this debacle. You're are clearly as pathetically desperate for hits and someone to read your writing as other sites for which Maura Kelly wrote for in 2009 (only) and now feature a link to her article on Marie Claire, LMAO. Just stand tall, be proud and admit you're so clearly panting for hits that you would feature this on a site about movies.
This "inappropriate subject for a movie site" argument has come up a few times, so let me just explain why that is a canard: This is a site about movies and TV. We receive regular readership for our weekly Mike & Molly recap, so it's a proven subject of interest and discussion. It also happens to be a show in the news this week for one person finally standing up and saying it promotes an unhealthy lifestyle. The way that person did it is just a distraction away from the real issue, which is that Mike & Molly is a show that says it's OK to be morbidly obese, and in fact disincentivizes its characters/actors from getting healthy. (The argument's in the piece, I don't need to rehash it.)
That kind of irresponsibility by a network and its writer/producers is absolutely germane to the ongoing conversation here. Let's face it: Had I written a pro-Mike & Molly takedown of Maura Kelly, no one would be complaining about its relevancy. If Mike & Molly showcased smokers or alcoholics or drug addicts in love, and I railed against that, no one would say a word. But because they're compulsive eaters -- exploited for the sake of mean-spirited comedy -- who even the show acknowledges have the option of changing their lifestyle (they attend Overeaters Anonymous, right?), I'm overstepping? You're kidding, right?
And as for this whole looking-for-hits thing, of course I'm looking for hits. It's the Internet; that's what we do. That doesn't make this piece (or any other on the site) naturally cynical or disingenuous, though; I meant and stand by every word.
I'm a teacher, a volunteer, a writer. I also have a mood disorder diagnosis. It is part of my family genetic heritage.
I was always a fairly fit person. However, the medication I take has a distinct and scientifically cited side effect of weight gain. Now, no matter how much I exercise or diet I'm wearing XLarge, trying to stop from hitting XXL. Never thought I'd be investing in black overshirts. It pains me to no end, but staying stable is worth it.
My point is: when you look at an "obese" person, you have no idea what they are really struggling with. To intuit that people are judging me is bad enough...now I must deal with otherwise sane, non-judgmental, supposedly liberal people defending the publicly expressed opinions that it's okay to say you don't like seeing "fat people" express affection? I see your very quick disclaimer that we aren't talking about people who are sick. And I truly understand the problem with a show that exploits fat jokes and then phonily tries to defend it.
BUT...you still did say that the writer was "right" when she said she is "grossed out" watching "fat people" do anything. In an otherwise attempt to be nuanced, you lost nuance most when it was needed. And the infliction of pain continues.
Even though not a single comment has agreed with you?
Please. Don't flatter yourself.
So it's not OK for fat people to be on television unless they're apologetic about their appearance?
"...which is that Mike & Molly is a show that says it's OK to be morbidly obese, and in fact disincentivizes its characters/actors from getting healthy. (The argument's in the piece, I don't need to rehash it.)
That kind of irresponsibility by a network and its writer/producers is absolutely germane to the ongoing conversation here."
I wholeheartedly agree, Stu. And y'know what makes it worse? It's really un-fucking-funny! It's up there-groan-worthy with the likes of Two and a Half Men (which people tell me is also crazily popular?). At least a show like Roseanne (which, incidentally, was funny) didn't trade solely in the "hey, I'm fat! [cue laughtrack!] humour.
I don't understand how I am flattering myself? I am always impressed by your ability to stick to your beliefs even though everyone is calling you out. I truly can't agree with you on the "repulsive fatties" thing but I respect your bravery in saying something you had to know would be unpopular. BTW, I am very sexy, highly gifted, and intelligent. There> NOW I am flattering myself.
1) Aren't you edgy? With your edgy self.
2) In what universe is 255 pounds obese for a man? You must be as tall as a Oompah-Loompah.
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