The 9 Movies We're Officially Tired of Reading About This Week

We all love movies. Yep, even you. But every once in a while, the overwhelmingly detailed and up-to-the-minute film culture that we call home gets a little too constricting. And so, despite the fact that I'm probably going to see a majority of the following movies on opening night, I simply can't imagine having to read another sentence about their development or progress. It would seem like the perfect time to call for a moratorium, but if the Internet couldn't discuss these nine film projects, it would likely shut down. Instead of that potential catastrophe, let's all just shake our fists in unison at their RSS feed dominance.

Deadpool

Here's a confession: Before sitting through the drek that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine, I equated Deadpool with Clint Eastwood and Dirty Harry. To my surprise, Deadpool was also a wise-cracking, comic book character with a sword, mask and invincible streak. Or something. As played by Ryan Reynolds in Wolverine, Deadpool was fine enough, but never did I think an entire franchise built around him was necessary. Not Hollywood though, which has been forcing this second-rate Marvel character down our collective throats for 18 months. Guess what: Whether Robert Rodriguez or someone else directs Deadpool, a majority of filmgoers won't care. Can we all move on and leave Reynolds with his other superhero franchise? At least most people have heard of Green Lantern. Or is he The Green Hornet? Alas...

The Hangover 2

I saw The Hangover four times in the theater, so clearly I'm a mark for the sequel. And despite the fact that it feels like a clear money-grab from the participants involved, I have enough confidence in this creative team to think (hope) that they'll be able to pull off something relatively unheard of: A funny comedy sequel. But how about we all let them make this thing without hour-by-hour updates on the process. Just a thought.

Any updated version of a children's fairytale

Let's all make a pact right now: No longer will anyone take seriously a news report that includes the words Snow White, Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron and fairytale re-imagining. Also ignore Little Red Riding Hood and Cinderella.

Any Darren Aronofsky movie that involves Wolverine or robots

First it was Robocop, then Superman, then officially Wolverine 2 and now Machine Man. Machine Man? Please come back to us, Darren. At least when Steve Soderbergh did his "one for them" movies, it gave us the frothy fun of Danny Ocean and not some stale comic book icon and a Paul Verhoeven rip-off. Based on the early Black Swan reviews, I wish Aronofsky just did a straight-cash horror movie instead of these albatrosses.

Gravity

Children of Men is one of the best movies of the last decade, so it goes without saying that I'm extremely excited to see what Alfonso Cuaron can do as an encore. Still, aren't weekly updates on which actress passed on the film a bit much. I get it: Every actress between 20 and 50 is up for the lead role and Robert Downey, Jr. may or may not star. Wake me when it trailers.

Avatar 2 & 3

Just going to preemptively add them to the list, since I'm assuming the Avatar sequels will take up a majority of the Internet bandwidth between now and 2014.

The Hobbit

Every time a bell rings, a blogger writes about The Hobbit. Did you guys just hear that ringing?

The Dark Knight Rises

I almost want to put this one on Christopher Nolan: His cryptic non-answers make him the Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse of film directors, causing endless speculation and theorizing. Coverage of The Dark Knight Rises would be a lot easier if we just knew who the villain was -- then maybe people would cool their heels until the first set photos showed up.

The Bourne Legacy

Maybe it's blasphemous, but I don't think the first three Jason Bourne movies were good enough to warrant such endless conversation about the fourth -- especially when the fourth won't include Matt Damon or Paul Greengrass.

Back to the Future

It's amazing that I could get tired of a 25-year-old movie, but thanks to the incessant fawning over Back to the Future in the last two weeks, that's just what happened. Yes -- before you get all uppity in the comments -- I know: Movieline has done its fair share of Back to the Future anniversary coverage. It has been great (Mike Ryan is the Doc Brown of BTTF minutia) and I love, love, love the film. But can't we go back to the time when it was something I'd reference once a week ("It's your cousin...MARVIN BERRY"), instead of something that vomited all over my Twitter feed? If I only had a flux capacitor...