The Mike & Molly Fat Joke Tracker: 'Is That Why I Get Aroused When I See a Birthday Cake?'

Disappointing news, fat joke enthusiasts: last night's episode of Mike & Molly contained merely five sizist slams. Maybe that was because the episode, "Mike's Apartment," was rife with so many other lowbrow joke opportunities (a bikini wax gag, flatulence jokes aplenty) or maybe Chuck Lorre & Co. had just temporarily exhausted the fat joke center of Mike & Molly's collective writing brain. Whatever the case, Movieline has compiled the punchlines, as well as a few other choice disses. And before we go ahead and re-title this feature the "Mike & Molly Pubic Hair Joke Tracker," we'll give our favorite bad sitcom on television another week to regain its fat joke footing.

"Well, when you get the restaurant's number off of a bathroom stall at an Overeater's Anonymous meeting, you know it's going to be good." -- Mike, on dinner

"Well, I guess this is the awkward moment where you shouldn't be leaving. The looming question: Who gets the leftovers?" -- Molly

"Candles help create a mood. An ambiance if you will."

-- "Is that why I get aroused when I see a birthday cake?" -- Mike, discussing his upcoming date with Molly

"I've been through worse pain. Mikey came out fourteen pounds and sideways. I'm lucky I can keep any food in me." -- Mike's mom to Molly

"That rat bastard husband of mine ran out on me with a $2 whore and left me with a mortgage payment I couldn't afford and a 16-year-old boy who ate cereal with a snow shovel." -- Mike's mom to Molly

A sampling of some of Mike & Molly's foray into other lowbrow humor last night:

"You're lucky [your unused vagina] is not like pierced ears where the holes grow shut."

-- "Talk about an embarrassing trip back to the mall." -- Molly's mom and sister discussing Molly's recent frigidness

"You tend to get a little shaggy in your shooby-doo." -- Molly's sister on Molly's personal grooming habits

"You don't want him to get lost in the weeds while looking for the pumpkin patch." -- Molly's mom on, well, you get it

"No one has carpet anymore. Just a tiny little area rug near the entrance way." -- Molly's mom to Molly



Comments

  • coco says:

    ah yeah, last's night episode was simply, awful. Hoping it doesn't continue as I've enjoyed the show so far.

  • Martini Shark says:

    So who are the primary advertisers for this program? Dunkin Donuts, Haggen Daz, and The KFC Double-Down? Holy crap, these lines are so awful I feel like I need comfort food.