Quickly, Let's Cast 3 More Teen Pop Sensations as Guest Stars in a Primetime Drama

Apparently it's all the rage: Teen pop stars are appearing on primetime dramas and hoping to snag an Emmy nomination for Best Guest Actor/Actress away from John Lithgow or Leslie Caron. (Speaking of which, did you know that five of the past six "Outstanding Guest Actress in a Drama" wins have gone to Law & Order: Special Victims Unit cameos? Chilling.) First Justin Bieber appeared on CSI as a "troubled teen" who hacked off a prostitute's legs and scrawled the words "HEY, SHORTY" on her face with a hook (or so I assume), and now Disney princess Miranda Cosgrove is set to guest star on The Good Wife as a drunk-driving minor. Let's help concoct storylines for three other teen sensations who could stand to show a dark side.

Miley Cyrus

Should Appear On: NCIS: Los Angeles

Character: An exotic dancer named Minnow at Jumbo's Clown Room who is interrogated about the disappearance of one of the joint's newest starlets.

Edgy Dialogue: [Staring at picture] "Never seen her before. She's got eyes like cherries and a body like an eel. The slick ones can't be tamed. Never. [Glares off into a portrait of her late mother Angelfish.]"

Nick Jonas

Should Appear On: Law & Order: Los Angeles

Character: Sleazy high school senior who deals Ecstasy and runs a monthly rave from his parents' yacht called "Camp Rock."

Edgy Dialogue: "You think you're smarter than I am, Detective Winters? Think you can tell me what to do because you found some sophomore slut impaled on my dad's ship tackle? You wish you were me, detective. This camp doesn't need a sh*t-eating, whistle-blowing counselor like you."

Taylor Swift*

Should Appear On: Lie to Me

Character: Sociopath law student who may know something about a professor's murder but has a habit of interrupting Dr. Lightman's questions

Edgy Dialogue: [Stuttering, twitching] "Dr. Cal, I respect what you're saying, but first let me tell you that I've got a darling little baby girl named Destiny who means more to me than the world. She knows I ain't a cheat. She knows I wouldn't shoot that man. She knows I didn't mack on that soft-rock guitarist with the creepy Twitter account. She knows it! She knows I'd do anything for her! Anything! She knows I'm one of the greatest mothers of all time!" [Collapses on floor, seizures]

(*Taylor's actually 20. It will not compromise her performance, I assure you.)