A Comprehensive List of Movies That Are Not Being Remade in Hollywood
Honestly, can someone explain to me why Total Recall is being remade? It's not as if there's anything wrong with the first one -- plus, more importantly, I have never once heard someone say, "You know, this world needs a reboot of Total Recall. Someone really needs to get to the bottom of that ambiguous ending." Regardless, since it does appear that every movie ever produced is being rebooted in one way or another, as suggested by loyal Movieline commenter HwoodHills, here are the only five movies any of us can think of that are not currently being remade.
1. D.C. Cab
Here's the most surprising thing about Joel Schumacher's D.C. Cab (other than the fact that it was directed by Joel Schumacher): This film was released in 1983 and it stars Adam Baldwin, who is now on Chuck. I am now 100 percent convinced that Adam Baldwin does not age. Of course, you couldn't tell from the movie poster that Baldwin is the main character since it only depicts Mr. T tearing off the door of a cab. A wise marketing strategy at the time considering that T had been starring on The A-Team for about a year when D.C. Cab was released. Not a wise marketing strategy to depict Mr. T on the poster of a movie that's rated R? Think of it this way: Very few of those 8-year-old A-Team fans ever got a chance to see Mr. T cuss.
2. Midnight Madness
This one actually should be remade! A staple of early 1980s HBO, the film was about five teams of college kids that play in a scavenger hunt called The Great All-Nighter. Sure, the original had a kitschy quality to it -- not to mention early glimpses of Michael J. Fox, Paul Reubens and future Hitch director Andy Tennant -- but considering all of the other dreck that's being remade, why not remake something that's fun? Hell, have Tennant direct it!
3. Junior
Ah, yes, the second film in the Schwarzenegger-DeVito comedy team's filmography. As of now, there are no plans for a Junior reboot, but we all know it's coming. This has Vin Diesel and Wee Man from Jackass written all over it.
4. Speed 2: Cruise Control
I always wondered what the original film's Jack Traven (played by Keanu Reeves) was doing while the events of Speed 2: Cruise Control were transpiring. Was he having his own parallel velocity-themed crises? Was he on vacation? Was he having an uneventful day on the job -- maybe a couple false alarms and some paperwork? And I always wondered what he thought of Annie immediately dating Alex Shaw, another LAPD SWAT team member. I mean, it's kind of sad if you think about it. Would Traven have cared about her new predicament? Fortunately, there is no reboot or third installment planned that would have had to have been called, Speed 3: Rack and Pinion Steering.
5. 40 Days and 40 Nights
Thankfully the era of masturbation-themed Josh Hartnett movies came to an end quickly. Unfortunately, these things always seem to be cyclical. Here's what's going to happen: Someone will try to do a cross reboot between this and Junior. You see, the man fails to keep his 40 day pledge and, as his punishment, he's the one who gets pregnant (on a speeding bus).
What did I overlook?
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Comments
I don't think anyone's planning to remake "Paranormal Activity 2"... yet.
Mr. Ryan (and or the ed. at ML who made this happen),
1. Thanks for the piece.
2. Damn you to Hell for actually putting Junior into the mix because even money says some Universal Development Exec. read this and will be pitching it to the brass this afternoon.
"Think about it!...A really smart college kid devises a way to make himself pregnant so a really hot girl who won't pay attention to him will notice him! And also...He has superpowers and his best friend is a vampire!"
You're a very bad person, Mr. Ryan.
How about the Emilio Estevez-Mick Jagger face-off in futuristic Totonto "Freejack"? I think the relationship between "Alex Furlong" and the Renee Russo love interest could stand a more multi-layered development. Robert Duvall could play Anthony Hopkins! That guy managed to class up "The 6th Day"...he can do anything.
Heh.
Oh no. does this mean the 80's 'classic' Hot To Trot starring Bobcat Goldthwait and a talking horse is being remade? say it ain't so movieline!
Sorry, Warners is developing that and Young Einstein in 3-D for first quarter 2012. you didn't hear?
Hopefully they're setting it during Spring Break with plenty of topless co-eds (and piranhas.)
Once they run out of good movies to remake, maybe Hollywood could start remaking movies that arrived with tons of potential only to bomb. Heaven's Gate, Gigli, Isthar...."We swear we got it right this time!" Or are they already doing that?
while I in general don't like the whole reboot/remake/make an american version cause apparently we are too stupid to read subtitles, I excuse one group of re's. those that were based on a play/book/comic and are going back to the original source. I will give those projects a shot at showing me that they can do it better or at least different this time. Particularly if they have the means to be more faithful to the source thanks to tech that didn't exist 20 years ago which is why they changed X to be C instead (which they could film).
oh and in terms of movies not being remade or rebooted, I haven't seen Casablanca or Gone with the Wind on the list. guess folks might be stupid but they aren't insane.
_JAWS_. And you will never know how happy I am knowing this.
A remake of Junior has Michael Cera written all over it, directed by a Duplass with a winsome Vanessa Hudgens as the graduate student who makes his foetal desires come true.
None of Terry Gilliam film's are being remade both Brazil and 12 Monkeys were the best for it's time!!
Maybe they could do a remake/reboot/update of Grease where they pretend Grease 2 didn't happen and Travolta and Newton-John can be the parents of, um....CANDY who is a sickening sweet goody two shoes just moved back from Australia where she lived with mom, Sandy after she and Danny divorced and poor Candy is forced into a dance off with a street-wise hip-hop dancer and the whole thing is broadcast on dancing with the Stars-esque TV and, um....if she doesn't dance, uh, she'll be um.......a social outcast and maybe chained to a drainpipe and forced to cut off her own leg with a hacksaw as part of a hazing ceremony, or have to be a candidate to date either Bret Michaels or Flava Flav on VH1, so even though mom is straightlaced, she lets her dance anyway to save her from a fate-worse-than-death.....They could even just re-tool the original music with hip hop beats! "Beauty School Dropput...(imagine beatbox here)...She just a beauty shcool dropout...Word!" {idk if kids still say word, but insert moden slang there}
Awesome. D.C. Cab has a special place in my memory.
http://timsmoviemission.blogspot.com/2010/09/dc-cab-get-ready-to-pity-fool.html
It's fitting that it would be #1. (Fighting back a tear.)
I don't think anyone is planning on remaking 'Birth of a Nation' but I think it's high time somebody did
How about a new Conan?!?!?!?!?! Maybe John Cena as the 'Son of Conan' theres always room for an Arnold cameo. And as far as the new Joker for the next batman?? Jay from Jay and silent Bob hands down funniest batman dialogues ever possible.
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WHAT ABOUT SHAKER'S ROLE ?
OMG. The first 2 on your list are 2 of my favorite movies form the 80s. I didn't think anyone else had ever experienced Midnight Madness. C'mon it's got the Dr. Pepper guy in it. It's so awesomely bad.