Bored to Death Hipster Quotient: 'What Would a Police Duck Say to a Suicidal Bear?'

During the course of last night's new installment of Bored to Death, the fictional Jonathan Ames helped a well-educated junkie track down a signed first edition of On the Road from his dealer's Brooklyn apartment. Just another day's work for your favorite mop-topped HBO hipster P.I. Let's see how his adventures -- not to mention George's marijuana-fueled stay at the Maritime Hotel and Ray's one-night stand with a lady in leather gloves played by Kristen Wiig -- affected this week's Bored to Death Hipster Quotient.

After his parents bailed him out of a sticky ransom jam in last week's episode, Jonathan returned this week with a new carefully mismatched suit jacket/tie combination and a new case. This time, a wheelchair-bound college professor, who relied on heroin to help ease his hemorrhoid flare-ups, was trying to track down a first edition Kerouac novel. While Jonathan chased down the book, Ray stumbled into a bit of unexpected comic book success and ended up sleeping with returning character Jennifer Gladwell (Wiig) after a few well-earned whiskey shots. Elsewhere, George found an advantage to having cancer -- he could use it as an excuse for his failed drug text. Now onto the factors that went into last night's overall hipster quotient.

Number of Brooklyn Subway Maps Used as Funky Graphics: 1.

Number of Homemade Jewel Broaches Worn Over Hip Jean Jackets: 1, worn by Ray's ex.

Number of Awkward Confrontations Outside of a Brooklyn Comic Store: 1, between Ray and his aforementioned funky homemade broach-wearing ex.

Number of Mixed CD Mentions: 1, by Ray and his aforementioned funky homemade broach-wearing ex.

Number of Brooklyn Comic Fans Wearing Spock Ears: 1, a fan surprises Ray at the comic store in a funky cardigan and Spock ears.

Number of New Yorker Cartoons That George Tries to Caption: 1, "What would a police duck say to a suicidal bear?" George asks himself as he stares at the illustration.

Number of Authors Referenced: 4. Joan Didion, Jack Kerouac, Truman Capote, Dashiell Hammett.

Number of Whiskey Shots Poured Between Ray and a Mysterious Woman Wearing Leather Gloves At a Bar For No Apparent Reason Other Than Hipster Style: 6.

Number of Plastic Skull Bongs Positioned Next to Signed First Editions of On the Road: 1.

Random Drug Tests: 1, administered to George unexpectedly at work.

Number of Times Said Random Drug Test Was Diluted With Hand Soap and Water: 1, in the test administered to George unexpectedly at work.

Number of Escapes Through Prospect Park With a Ziploc Bag Full of Weed: 1, by Jonathan after he recovers his client's first edition copy of On the Road.

Number of Postcoital Corn Cob Pipes Smoked: 1, by Ray following his romp with Kristen Wiig's character.

Number of Corn Cob Pipes Smoked in the Maritime Hotel By a Man Wearing a Purple Leisure Robe: 1, by George following Jonathan's Kerouac case.

Number of Silk-Screened T-Shirts: 1, worn by Kristen Wiig's character after having sex with Ray.

Overall: A case involving a first edition Kerouac novel, a heroin-addicted professor at a Brooklyn college, a romantic autumn chase through Prospect Park, TWO casually-smoked corn cob pipes and a slicked back new hairdo for Jonathan Ames? It's official: last night's episode was the hipster-est yet.