South Park Casualty Count: When Osama Bin Laden Met Snooki

Trey Parker and Matt Stone got off to a bumpy mid-season start last week with an uncharacteristically humorless NASCAR and Vagisil-themed episode, but all is forgiven after last night's Jersey Shore tribute. After the Garden State's orangest residents started annexing other U.S. states, the town of South Park enlisted Al-Qaeda to suicide bomb the guido army before they could claim Colorado as their official smoosh state. Though not before a Snooki monster attacked Cartman in the Sizzler's meat freezer and Randy delivered a roundhouse kick to The Situation's face. Let's take a look at this week's South Park carnage below -- and Teresa Guidice, you did not escape unscathed.

The episode began with the Marshes inviting their new Jersey neighbors, Theresa and Joe (sketched to look and act like Teresa and Joe Giudice of the Real Housewives of New Jersey), over for dinner, an action that incited this cautionary rule from another South Parkian: "Never invite a New Jersey housewife into your home."

Later, Stan would meet his friends at the local Sizzler and lament the fact that New Jersey was taking over their town. "It seems like all people from Jersey do is hump and punch each other," Stan said, dejected, before all of the guidos stood up in the restaurant and started fist-pumping in the aisles.

Naturally, this led to the parents of South Park met to discuss the encroaching guidos. "Everything east of the Rockies is now part of New Jersey," Stan's dad announced at the meeting while pointing to a U.S. map. "The Jersey Shore now includes Jacksonville, Miami, the gulf of Jersey, Mexico and the Jersey Islands. If we don't do something, South Park is going to become West Jersey."

Desperate, Randy sent a tape to Bin Laden begging him to help in their crusade against Jersey so that the guidos do not continue to spread overseas.

Meanwhile, Sheila Broflovski (Kyle's mom) revealed that she was actually raised in Jersey, where she went by the name S-Woww Tittybang, causing Cartman to slur Kyle (now "a Jew, a Ginger and from Jersey") and lock him in the meat freezer at Sizzler. This plan goes awry when a Snooki monster attacks Cartman.

Peace is restored when Al-Quada flies in and bombs all of the Guidos, including the Snooki monster. Of course.

Casualties Claimed at the Hands of Trey Parker and Matt Stone last night:

Teresa Giudice, Joe Giudice, Jacqueline Laurita, Caroline Manzo, Dina Manzo, Danielle Staub, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Snooki, The Situation and the rest of the Jersey Shore cast members.

Obligatory Anti-Semitic Slur:

"That's strike three. You're a ginger, a Jew, and from Jersey." -- Cartman to Kyle.

Kenny's Cause of Death:

N/A. Kenny survived, unlike the fleet of guidos that Al-Qaeda suicide bombed.

Best insults:

1.) "It seems like all people from Jersey do is hump and punch each other." -- Stan.

2.) "I know you have seen countless horrors in your lifetime, Mr. Bin Laden, and that you've witnessed the very worst of mankind. Well, now I ask you to watch this." -- Randy, in a homemade video tape to Bin Laden that he edited together with an episode of Jersey Shore

3.) "Every time they talk like a**holes, they just say 'it's a Jersey thing.'" -- Stan.

4.) "Maybe he really is stupid," a South Park resident said to Randy as he tortured The Situation for information about the Jersey takeover plan. "No one is this stupid," Randy replied before roundhouse kicking him in the face.

Movieline Rating:

8/10