Survivor Loser Review: The Ballad of Jimmy T.

Jimmy T., the stubborn, bedraggled mess who rambled long enough to make everyone forget anyone else was even eligible for elimination, signed his own death certificate several times on last night's Survivor. Let's figure out where things went wrong for Jimmy T. -- and what we can do to prevent folks like him from happening again in the future.

Delusions of Importance: Marty said that Jimmy suffered from delusions of grandeur, but he mostly suffered from an inability to say things that mattered. The most offensive piece of dialogue in Jimmy T's laundry list of proclamations? His cry, "Just give me a chance to prove myself!" Somewhere in all of his self-aggrandizement and desperate Chekhovian monologuing (think Vershinin in Three Sisters, lambs -- all blather about meaning without ever approaching it), I feel there was opportunity to prove his relevance. Mind you, there was some delusion too. He did say, "I think I'm easy to get along with," remember.

Passive-Aggressive Challenge Skills: Who else cawed "Oh, right" when Jimmy T. claimed he couldn't hear Tyrone during the blindfold challenge? From where I was sitting, it looked like Jimmy T. tuned out Tyrone's commands and fumbled around at his own speed. Typical. Lost out there in his own gnarly hair like some sort of Gary Busey/River Phoenix hybrid. What a nice change of pace for him.

The Jimtervention at Tribal Council: Sorry, if Thintervention is allowed to be a legitimate title, then I get to say "Jimtervention." Though we didn't see it, tribal council apparently went on for a full hour and a half during last night's episode -- Jimmy T.'s teammates fed him ample morsels of honesty and definitively ripped the losing edge away from gimpy Dan in the process. Once you're called "paranoid" in front of your tribemates, your fate is sealed on Survivor.