Hollywood Ink: Seriously, Folks, There is Nothing to See Here

If you absolutely must click through and read the rest of Hollywood Ink, please be advised that there are exactly two stories of any "news value" or "importance" to pass along right about now, and I swear to God you will not care about either of them. I'm not kidding! No reverse psychology necessary! Please save yourself!

· OK, so you know that Nicholas Sparks adaptation The Lucky One, with Zac Efron as an Iraq veteran who attributes his survival of three tours to a photograph of a beautiful, anonymous stranger? Right, that one. Former Mercy star Taylor Schilling has won the "highly sought after" role of said stranger. Fist bumps for T-Schill. [THR]

· Here's the first line of a story over at Deadline: "Disney has acquired the pitch Monster Witness Relocation Program by writers Ahmet Zappa and Michael Wilson." Back to bed, everyone. [Deadline]