9 Haiku Inspired by Robert Rodriguez and Jessica Alba's Spy Kids Reboot

It's kind of a depressing morning out there for movie fans, what with the preponderance of useless development news or recycled old nuggets about everyone from Doug Liman to Ben Stiller. This isn't déjà vu; it's just a faintly defined outer circle of Hell. And then there's this: Robert Rodriguez wants to make a fourth Spy Kids film, rebooting his hit franchise with Jessica Alba despite the fact that the original kids are in their early 20s. Naturally it'll be in 3D... and so the apocalyptic End of Ideas proceeds. How to grapple with this? How about some haiku?

· So... Spy Kids 4, eh?

Thought last one was called Game Over?

I am so confused.

· Weinsteins needed news

to disguise the greenlighting

of Piranha 2.

· En route to Texas

with 30 million dollars.

Sorry, Austin.

· They're no longer kids!

Alexa Vega's engaged;

Sabara, 18.

· Not Alba again!

Was Rose McGowan simply

unavailable?

· Anyway, she plays

superspy and stepmother

of preteen spy kids.

· Carla Gugino --

after all that grueling work --

thrown out on her ass.

· On the other hand,

Antonio Banderas?

Expect cameo.

· Film is still casting --

needs a husband and villain.

Check pride at the door.

· Jessica Alba to star in Spy Kids 4 [THR]