James Bond Killed by Slow News Week

Slow clap for Entertainment Weekly, which today unveiled the cover of its latest issue screaming "The Bond movies in danger!" The story, which is not yet available online or in print, is said to evaluate the threat to the James Bond franchise from insolvent MGM and Daniel Craig's other franchises -- specifically, David Fincher's adaptation of the Millenium Trilogy. Yikes! Panic much, anybody?

The cycle of crisis and rumors and speculation about 007's future indicates that interest in the 50-year-old film franchise is as high as its ever been. I mean, if EW can make a cover story out of a movie that doesn't even exist, I'd think that translates as incentive, not discouragement (not to mention leverage), for the producers to solve the Bond problem. And memo to culture: They will, with audience anticipation to spare.

So, to recap: It's the slowest news season ever, so now James Bond is apparently in peril. At least we're promised some humor when the story does emerge: "No franchise can afford to be away from screens for that long anymore," says a former MGM exec, citing the earlier six-year Bond hiatus that resulted in Pierce Brosnan's casting in GoldenEye. "You lose too much momentum. Even for Bond, it could be deadly." Ah. I wonder if George Lucas or Christopher Nolan agree.

Anyway, come on, guys. Isn't there a cover story to be written about the new Twilight release date or something?

· Is James Bond dead? This week's EW cover