Warehouse 13's Relic Roundup: What Artifacts Sprang from SyFy's Ultimate Crossover?

Barring the occasional Disney Channel special (looking at you, Suite Life of Zack and Cody), a legitimate crossover not between a show and its spinoff is a rare, mystical thing. Which is perhaps why, amid the Babel Stones, the makeshift lightsabers and the fire-breathing mechanical spiders, the first installment of the Warehouse 13-Eureka crossover felt so right.

In last night's 13.1, Fargo (Neil Grayston) of Eureka's Global Dynamics heads to the warehouse to update the computer system. That sets off a fail-safe designed by the last lord of the warehouse (Rene Auberjonois), which kicks off our weekly roundup of warehouse treasures:

Artifact: Hugo One

Specifications: Hugo Miller, who designed the warehouse computer system around 25 years ago, used Max Wertheimer's zoetrope (which frankly isn't worth discussing) to make an impression of his left brain and create the most cutthroat, straight-thinking AI ever. Unfortunately, so much reason leaves little room for creative problem solving, which is why Hugo One will never win Battleship. ("You can't run a warehouse with half a brain," Artie reasons. "I was able to beat you at a child's board game!)

Covetability: Low. You don't want this thing kicking into "catastrophic failure" mode every time you try to update your computer firmware.

Artifact: Babel Stones

Specifications: Say there's a AI with half a brain listening to your every word and plotting against you. You know what would come in handy? Some rocks that, if held, will allow you to speak in a kind of hacked-up, reverse language only discernible to fellow rock-holders. It's perfectly, beautifully simple. And, I don't know, something about seeing subtitles for fake languages is unfailingly funny.

Covetability: Medium-high. Unless they're made of some radioactive element, which would probably be true if any more time had been devoted to their back story.

Artifact: Todd, who also liked chili.

Specifications: It seems like just last week (oh, it was) when Todd, the charming fellow from the Univille hardware store, told Claudia (Allison Scagliotti) that he, too, liked chili, seemingly cementing their romantic entanglement at least until the end of the season. But no! Claudia spends one afternoon flirting and building lightsabers with a nerd from another SyFy show and Todd has had enough. But after this week, and least until Friday when Claudia goes to Eureka, I'm on team Fargo.

Covetability: Medium. A bit clingy, right?