Where Does Justin Bieber's 3D Movie Rank Among the Most Cynically Conceived Films Ever?

The Real Cancun (2003)

Marketed as being from the producers of The Real World -- and thus relying desperately on the show's imprimatur to excuse its inflation of garish spring-break pseudodrama to multiplex fodder -- The Real Cancun didn't actually have any official connection to the MTV series. Either way, the interminable feature went out of its way to chart the types of transgressions and excesses that you couldn't see on television -- an approach that seemed to overlook the "TV" part of reality TV's fundamental appeal. While Cancun does have its defenders, its few merits seem coincidental to the forces that motivated it in the first place.

Jay-Z: Fade to Black (2004)

All Jay-Z had to do was say, "You know, it might be cool to make a concert movie," and that would have been great. Instead, the 34-year-old rapper staged a bloated "retirement" show at Madison Square Garden, filmed a bunch of biographical interludes and recording outtakes, then unveiled it all in theaters as his farewell to hip-hop. America wasn't buying it -- literally, as Fade to Black earned $728,000 in a limited release that went on way longer than it had any right to, finally dying Christmas weekend with a $271 gross on five screens. Thank Beyoncé for any and all redeemability on hand:

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Arguably the most cynically conceived film ever made (and George Lucas has made his share), it nevertheless accomplished its goal of shoveling tens of millions more dollars into the bank accounts of Lucas, Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford. It also might have devastated one of cinema's greatest, purest action franchises. For all three principals to have seemingly proceeded knowing they were doing exactly that is beyond unforgivable, but it's also par for modern-day Hollywood course. (See also Sex and the City 2 -- if you must.) Nuke the fridge, indeed.

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