Warehouse 13's Relic Roundup: Finally, A Soul-Stealing Camera

There was a disappointing dearth of artifacts on last night's Warehouse 13, but chief among them was a camera that stole the souls/youth of high-fashion models. Which means that if there were ever a time for Joanne Kelly (Myka) to go undercover prancing around in slinky silk dresses, THIS HAD TO BE IT. And boy did she. Like, twice. (Which is a lot in an hour, especially noting the gratuitous, approximately three-minute photo shoot.) But that wasn't the only thing that happened, and the gratuitousness was mitigated (albeit slightly!) by Pete cutely assuaging Myka's low self-esteem. So read on for a rundown of the artifacts in Age Before Beauty!

Artifact: Man Ray's Camera

Specifications: Feeling the inevitable pangs of old age? With Man Ray's camera, you just take a picture of yourself along with the person whose soul you want to steal and develop them simultaneously. It will take years off!

Covetability: Low. I mean, it steals souls.

Artifact: Excalibur and magic stone

Specifications: This mythical sword and its rock sheath share a rare metal which allows the sword to phase through the rock and whatever is behind it. Frankly, and considering the measly two minutes spent on it at the beginning of the episode, I can't help but feel this was a waste of a potentially awesome artifact. But perhaps the sword will resurface?

Covetability: Low. Without the rock, it's basically just a sword. And with the rock, it's basically just a magic trick.

Artifact: Artie's dating advice

Specifications: After Claudia struck up a very tentative romance with the hardware store clerk in town last week, she predictably lapsed into some kind of low self-esteem-induced paralysis of will (which paralleled nicely with Myka's runway performance anxiety). Enter Artie, whose sage dating advice ("Be yourself!" he says) would guide her through the malaise.

Covetability: Medium-high. Artie's advice actually really sucked, but the chemistry between the two reminds me so much of Buffy and Giles that I just can't mind. Prattle away, Artie!

Those were the items! Here's hoping next week's Eureka crossover will lend itself to more -- and more interesting -- artifacts.