What's On: Jill Taylor Returns!

NBC is airing a cute-sounding TV movie tonight, but let's get a grip on even better news: It's a TV movie featuring Patricia Richardson! The Home Improvement actress plays a no-nonsense scientist in this family caper. I'm buggin'! This is the right move for her; I wouldn't want her to try something insane like a stilted hosting gig on Family Feud

The Jensen Project [NBC, 8 PM]

In this TV movie, a crimefighting couple, their teen son, and their boss (Richardson) try to thwart a vagabond colleague and a piece of dangerous technology he may have procured. It's like Mr. and Mrs. Smith, if Brad and Angelina agreed to brood as one and hunt down Vince Vaughn. In fact, let's make that happen in real life, Brange.

Flashpoint [CBS, 10 PM]

After a carjacking, a young man and a baby are held hostage. You know, I could stand to dislike this show a little more. Maybe I'm just resentful that Rookie Blue is a summer hit while better summer fare continues to flounder. On a related note: Watch Persons Unknown, you clods!

The Soup [E!, 10 PM]

An all-new episode. This is actually what I watch on a Friday night. I don't need baby hostages or fighting Jensens, I need Maury soundbites, erudite Miley coverage, and more evidence proving you can't even pick a least favorite Kardashian. We owe it to Joel McHale to watch this week, considering he read off the Emmy nominees with Sofia Vergara and didn't make the Best Actor in a Comedy shortlist.

Glitter [Fuse, 9 PM]

In Mariah Carey's perfect debut, a down-to-earth ingenue goes from rags to riches and becomes a singing sensation. The unofficial subtitle for this masterpiece is "Tommy Mottola Wins." If that's not enticing enough, Da Brat gives a staggering supporting performance.