True Blood Sex and Violence Meter: Hungry for a Healthy Relationship, Like the Wolf
· Poor Lafayette is still marooned out in the boondocks of a V-dealing subplot, where his beatdown is thwarted by a chokey Eric. Can we please get cracking with Lafayette's love interest already? (Violence: +3)
· You'll note that I have ignored the Sam storyline. It's better that way! The only thing worth mentioning: Sam's brother finally fulfills his role's rear nudity stipulation. (Sex: +4)
· Pam is kidnapped by the magister and tortured, and not in a good "power-f**king the Estonian dancer" kind of way. (Violence: +5)
· Hi, topless dancers in the club Bill is at! It's good that HBO signed holding deals with you after The Sopranos went off the air.. One of them looks like "Can't Be Tamed" Miley Cyrus, which is unsettling. (Sex: +10)
· Let's meet Debbie Pelt, another redhead! She is Alcide's ex and has an amazing Shaun White mullet. Eventually, Russell shows up, bites into his arm to supply the wolves with his blood, and then they all do shots. (Violence: +3)
· Bill's private Miley takes her top off, all the better to distract from the umpteenth on-the-nose conversation about this episode's themes, where a minor character describes his or her troubles in a way that crystallizes something for the listening lead. Is this Grey's Anatomy or something? (Sex: +7)
· Debbie is branded a member of her wolfpack as Cooter as he licks her wound ewwww. Everyone starts wolfing out, and Alcide tells Sookie to flee. Does this mean we won't have a warehouse full of naked, post-were extras in episode five? (Violence: +5)
· Lorena bites into Stripper Miley, then Russell, then Beel, and blood congeals and drips from the floor of their car. I just went through this same thing yesterday with the mild hot sauce from my Del Taco drive-thru quesadilla. (Violence: +5)
FINAL TALLY: Though Sex rallied, Violence still beat it, 30 to 25. Needs more Skarsgard man-licking.
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Comments
At first, I was a bit perturbed that Franklin turned out to be a looney tune and not the most reasonable character in the show, as it appeared that he was initially. However, your Spike analogy turned that around for me. Now I understand and embrace his lunacy. And, True Blood truly needed a Spike to dilute all those shots of Bill looking anguished. Blech.
Franklin is this seasons wild card (possible big bad?)
BTW the guy who plays Cooter (love the name) is actually kind of hot.
I have a friend who swears this show is a comedy. I've never seen it. Is he right?
It's both butch and camp, so kinda, yeah.
Grant Bowler -- don't know if you watched Ugly Betty, but he was Wilhelmina Slater's (Vanessa Williams) love interest.
A great ep. Your pals at Defamer hated every minute of it, but I thought it was fantastic. Things seem to be moving along nicely (though the Sam "my family is white trash" plotline is tedious indeed). I love Russell and his BF. The fact that he is in league with Werewolves is probably some huge violation of the Vampire Constitution and he'll be brought up on charges and left in the sunshine, but man I'm loving Season Three. But, yes, more Skarsgard nakedness puh-leeze.
Alexander Skarsgard can keep his clothes on so long as we get a room full of naked weremen next week.
I hope Pam does not get killed; she is my favorite.
Also, the blood dripping from the car was just stupid, and I say that as someone who embraces the show's ridiculousness pretty fully.
Anyway, we seem to have the conclusion the season pretty well telegraphed at this point, no?
How many people plan on watching the VMA's tonight?