So You Think You Can Dance Quick Kicks: Rating the Top 9

So You Think You Can Dance broke a new barrier yesterday, and it's one I like to call DUDES DANCING WITH DUDES. Look! It's Alex and Twitch! They're jiving together and exchanging stankface in front of America's kids. Harvey Milk krumps tearfully from heaven. That was just the beginning of last night's pleasures, as SYTYCD's nine remaining dancers pulled it out for an all-around spectacular evening. And best of all, Adam Shankman didn't bawl at the sky. Join us as we rate the Top 9 in quick succession!

· These jackass choreographers made Adéchiké dress like an extra in a dated music video again, forcing him into a nerd getup that didn't accommodate his character. Can this man just one time perform something that doesn't look like Paul McCartney's steps between seltzer squirts in the "Say Say Say" video?

· Ashley (in the video above) delivered the best routine and performance of the evening. She was supposed to be "broken," as the choreographer noted, and she came through! Lots of deflated torso tosses and collapsing tumbles. To quote Simon Cowell in season eight of Idol: She's "the girls' only hope" in this competition. No offense to Melinda or Lil Rounds.

· Robert was stuck with one of Sonja's stompy Where the Wild Things Are routines, which is not what he needed following his placement in last week's bottom three. His rebound attempt was forgettable, but Sonja made such a big deal over his "artistry" this week that he'll sail through this week's elimination unscathed.

· Melinda, on the other hand, will die alone. Mia Michaels told the beleaguered tapper she regretted not sending her home last week, and I can't disagree -- even though she's an exceptionally quick study considering the difference between her style and SYTYCD's ballet-funk-pseudo-Macarena milieu. She was also set up for sabotage this week, as a paid-off costumer outfitted her in a freakish glitter tunic with a large peach jellyfish affixed at the end. Melinda tripped on the damn thing right at the start. Your time has come, Mademoiselle Bojangles.

· Lauren wowed the judges even though she was bopping to a Debbie Gibson tune, so maybe we should dunk in her chrism oil and declare her a saint. The "electric youth" zaps on!

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